Merry Christmas Y'all

'Nough said.

Innocent to Wrong

Everything is just how you phrase it. For example:

-When'd you go to sleep last night?
-When'd you hop into your bed last night?
-When'd you lie down and close your eyes last night?
-When'd you take off your clothes and replace them with pyjama's for the sake of resting last night?
-When'd you get naked, put on your gown and lie down in the dark completely alone last night?
-When'd you get naked, put on your gown and lie down alone in the dark, unconcious and completely unaware of your surroundings for hours on end in a room with no lock on it?

"....Why do you ask?"

-I was just wondering.
-You seem kinda tired.
-I want to know. Tell me now.
-I want to know because I was thinking about you last night.
-I want to know because I couldn't stop thinking about you lying there still and unaware in the darkness all alone with me to watch over you.
-I already know I was watching you from the window, I just wanted to judge your answer by comparing it to when you really DID go to sleep last night so I know if you're the kind of person who lies to me.

Sure the last bit wasn't all the same response but who cares? It could be if you look it the right way.

Doodles!

You're so immature. All of you. I know what went through your mind when you read that title.

Well doodles are drawings people. No, not the drawings of doodles on chairs you find everywhere at school (you know when we evolve something else we will learn to draw that instead so if you're sick and tired of them just wait a few million years.) I have drawn quite a few (INNOCENT DRAWINGS. Mein Gott you guys are immature) in my textbooks over the past year and seeing as I no longer need the books themselves I've decided to preserve my favourite doodles....

OK I'm going to call them sketches now. They're not proper sketchy because I feel sketches need a certain amount of quality or style to them so they're more doodle like but no. No I must remember my audience and call them sketches. I have repressed NOTHING!

Here are some sketches. Be amused by them! (or don't. You know... free will and all...) Excuse my handwriting.



Oh that Mark. Haha.



I've always hated him too. Glad someone else out there did too.



Oddly enough no one believes me that this sort of thing really happens. COME ON PEOPLE! They're lying to you! They just want you to think monkies don't come from eggs.



Traumatic childhood...



Extra exclamation marks also messes with counting techniques and certain probability problems... not that you need to know that what with exams being over and all.



Don't try this. The eggs will explode. I know this because I've done it... twice... I'm a slow learner.



My long lost brother. He had serious anger issues. Once, he beat a nun to death because a penguin bit him at the zoo.



He is a very confused man.



F***ing hand puppets.



WHAT ARE THEY!? I'm scared :'(

And thus is the end of my doodles. We all knew it had to come eventually, some of us wish there was more but I'm sure you're all satisfied with what I have shown you today :)

You're all so very... very immature....

Horrified

ALRIGHT fellow cornflakes.
dont read this spot often anymore do you?
tsk tsk, dont kill something worth having
be greatful you have a blog spot. SO VISIT IT.

Alright, this is a warning to all the Holy Roley's on this blog site: The Following Blog Contains Your Lord And Savior Jesus Christ, and your Big Guy on A Cloud, God (aka. Josh Heaney Baby!).

Oooh, so here I am enjoying a meal with the family, when all of a sudden on the television this add starts playing.
Some interesting imagery, and so forth, at the begining saying "Thanks Jesus for Sunlight, but why do we get sun burnt?", and the add goes on "More friends but less friendships", ect, ect. until at the very end "JESUS HAS THE ANSWERS".....
A Television Advertisement for the Catholic Church.... On at a big ratings program (Celebrity MasterChef), of which many young children will be watching.



Not just that, but the following add break, there is another add, a message from the catholic arch bishop Barry Hickey.
His message on the unity of people is all nice and well, and i respected what he had to say until he said "WE CAN ONLY FIND THIS UNITY IN ONE WAY, AND THAT IS ALL THROUGH OUR FAITH IN GOD" (or something like that.)
All respect gone out the window..
Now really, this is not one of my religious bashing rants.

okay i cannot find that one in particular but i'm sure if you've been watching channel 10 around 6 or 7 then you would have seen it.

Anyway, trying to find the advertisement this guy appears in is hard, but i found one i havnt seen that has apparently been playing lots on Saturday mornings during childrens cartoons, announced by the same man, ArchBishop Barry Hickey.




Once again the church does something that is completely and horrificly wrong.
So many people will be watching and seeing this, so many.
And this is advertisement. promising "all the answers, a perfect world"
fuck its like some weird controlled order, like in some science fiction film or book.

Now look at what advertisement does.
It subconsciously installs messages and brand affiliations into the brain.
So, an add affiliating some the nice and bad things in life, along with a man who addresses god as the solution to many of Australia's problems... what they are trying to sell being beliefs, way of life and faith... this is horrible.
It's not too far off of brainwashing either.
This is being subconsciously installed into so many viewers brains, even more so some of the younger children who wont know any better.
Yeah sure, people deserve that freedom in belief. You can believe in God, i won't love you for it but its your choice.
But then these adds just contradicts this very right people have, by rubbing there ideals on you through something that influences you greatly, is a big part of our culture and is in every household, not to mention being on at the time of one of the highest rating programs.
I can tell people to "turn off there televisions", but that wont do a bit of difference, people will still watch.

Hungry Beast did a segment on there show on this very advertising campaign.
From what was said, the catholic churches of australia have paid one million dollars to advertise Jesus to gain an even greater following.
They have had this new "Jesus" logo, on billboards, a racing car, Sky writing planes, television advertising, along with many other things.
After announcing this they did show a very funny parody of the add, titled "Jesus has Issues", and brought up some of the facts of what the church really do.
I will provide a link to the video.




Anyway, i am well aware of some of your choices in faith, but you have your morals and if you had any respect for other people finding there own beliefs without television demanding them to become a part of yours, then you will sign this petition.

Unfortunatly there are no petitions existing at this time, but when i come across one i will post it up here.

feel free to discuss this matter at the bottom. I am curious about some of your feedback.


Edgar Lovecraft.

the forces that be....

why is it that when your house is possessed by a demon, a demon that supposedly cannot be reasoned with and want to bring you pain.
why is it that all this invisible supernatural demon spirit does, is stomp around on your stairs, slam doors, poke the roof making banging noises and occasionally rustle your sheets?
i dont get it. it's more like being an epic pain in the ass. honestly
"HARHAR I WAKE UP THE PEOPLE IN THE ROOM ABOVE BY BANGING THIS BROOM ON THE ROOF GROAWR!!"
STOMPING UP THE STAIRSSSSS
STOMPING UP THE STAIRSSSSS
YOU CANT SLEEP COZ IM
STOMPING UP THE STAIRSSSSS

If these paranormal activities do happen i wont jump to these fundamental religious conclusions.
ITS A DEMON!!!! LUCIFER WANTS TO CAUSE ME PAIN AND DEATH!!!
no he doesn't he just doesn't want you to get any sleep so you don't take notice to when he shits in your coffee.

Well watching Paranormal Activity, one of those POV camera movies (Blair witch project, Cloverfield, REC, ect.), based on the conventional things that happen when you have a paranormal experience in your household, i just couldn't help but just say its not a demon, like so many people like to conclude.
Maybe something mischevious (i wont say poltergiest, because then what is a poltergiest? a spirit. yeah do spirits exist?) or the forces that be just are fed up with your bullshit .

Deja' Vu. Here we go again, different path? same path? better or worse? An Abstract Memoir for this moment in time, contradictory? then what is it?

something good has happened.
something i thought wouldn't.
but that all too familiar sadness has accompanied it.
and i go on thinking things would be better, but when met with the reality of the situation the worst possible thing happens.
same daggers, different name.

I know what is right, patience.
but i can i dare stand it for so long?
decisions will be made, problems will arise
so do i let the past repeat itself?
i should make do at this second chance,
but then again, chance doesn't exist in these terms?
and if it is a determination of my life, is it for the good?
I can try be strong, and then suffer the same degradation i did before..
become second rate, second hand to myself as before.
Could i stand another renewal?
or shall i just draw from my new founded weaknesses and work from there?

There is no reason this is happening once again. But there is a rare opportunity, just as there was a rare opportunity as before.
is it possible to clench these emotions, be as conscious with them through analysis whilst at the same time ignoring there negative effects onto myself?
I feel i am full of great personal achievement, and with that all it takes is myself to fully grasp something translatable, ad something that can be channeled through passion.

I can feel it in this abstract memoir.
This progressional mind flow.
I have to go down this stream and to the very place i know i can control myself, but will the current keep me there for long until the tide changes and takes me back down the mountain to this feeling once again?

but then how can i be so predictive of these things when there may be any outcome?
do i look for the worst and presume it?
how can i presume an outcome anyway, who's to say my logic and myself is capable of it?

oh well, these are questions i can channel to the page, but whether or not the fellow cornflakes find this necessary look into the foundations of my own labrynth.

beginnings and endings

everyone always goes on about all the laws of physics and maths and chemistry and how they can be used to explain basically everything about everything. and usually they do an alright job explaining the stupid stuff that no-one really cares about and answering questions that no-one asks. but what explains all the serious stuff???

i believe that the universe only has two fundimental laws. two laws that define what exists and what doesnt. and the thing is, these two laws actually work for everything, and are present in every other law or theory you can think of.

the first law is that eventually, everything ends. nothing lasts forever. its impossible to think that it can. forever is an illusion created by our own fantasies about perfection and eternity. everything ends. happiness, sorrow, love, life, even time. everything that ever was or is, will end, or already has ended. its inescapable. thinking that something will last for eternity will only mean that when it does end, your goingt o be more crushed about it.

and the second law is that, for every ending, there is a beginning. everytime something ends, something new comes into play to replace the thing that just ended. when happiness ends, despair begins. when sorrow ends, joy begins. when love ends, spite begins. when life ends, death begins. and when time ends, well, something other than time begins to take the place of time.

there is also another phenomenom that i have noticed as well. whenever a bad thing ends, something good starts from the ashes of the bad thing. and once a good thing comes to an end, a bad thing rises up to claim you. its quite a perverse cycle. it means that we look forward to the good times because they are good, yet also live in fear for when the goodness ends and the badness begins. conversely, we look forward to when a bad thing ends as it heralds the arrival of something worthwhile.

its kinda unfortunate that life runs on such a cycle. what if there was a way to postpone the ending of something good, would you do it??? you probably would. just like you would stop the begining of something bad if you could. but heres the thing: trying to control the outcomes of endings and beginnings will never work. postponing an ending only makes the beginning more violent, and hastening a beginning will only cause the ending to explode sooner.

if someone ever did find out a way to completely and utterly stop something beginning or ending, then reality would simply cease to exist. if something is stopped from reaching its inevitable end, then that means that something new never starts to take its place. and that thing that would have begun would then not be able to replace another ending somewhere else, thus making that other thing never end. and this would continue upwards like a violent maelstrom untill everything comes to a standstill. it would also drive people insane. what if the awkward conversation with your parents was never allowed to end??? what if that tv show you've been waiting to start never begins??? it would be utter chaos. which is ironic, since chaos would then never be allowed to start.

i just thought this was something interesting that i was musing over. and hence, as i had thought about it, you people out there then had to know about it. look at it this way, your ignorance of the fabric of the universe is ending, and your enlightenment has just started :P

question!

ok i realised i just posted something, but i need everyones oppinions on this one.

say that hypothetically you could forsee an even that will happen in the near future. im not talking psychic or anything, although that would be cool, but like you can just feel and know that something, an event, will happen.

now, say that this hypothetical scenario that you see coming will hurt people. thats a bad thing isnt it??? well im pretty sure it is anyway. and you know that if you do nothing about it, this scenario will come about and hurt everyone.

naturally, you would try and do something to stop it from happening. but what happens when you cant stop it??? what if every step you take to stop this terrible event only brings you closer to anihilation??? you become the cause of the terrible scenario. damned if you do, damned if you dont.

this is my queary to all you avid young bloggers out there: would u sit back and let the even unfold, knowing full well that it would hurt people, or would u try and stop it, in full knowledge that you would only make it come about faster. sit back and wait, or accelerate and become the cause: which would you do???

lost for words

have you ever sat there thinking over your day and all the things you said to people? you probably have. and if you've done that, then you've probably also thought about all the things you wished you had said, or could say. you think, man, i would have so owned that guy if i'd said that. but you didnt say it. and nothing happened.

is there a place that all the unsaid things go??? if there is, it'd be filled to the brimb by now. so many times there have been things i wanted to say but didnt. sometimes their things you think while your angry, and you dont say them because you know that your angry and it will only get you into even more shit. sometimes you dont say anything because you know that saying something will only hurt people. sometimes you just plain and simple cant bring yourself to say it.

ok, i think iv talked enough on that. NOW: what happens when you run out of things to say??? in the middle of a conversation, where you find yourself completely speechless, what do u do??? someone please tell me, cause sometimes its down right awkward when your expected to say something but can think of anything to say. infact, its also really irritating. its like, brain, what the fuck man??? you left me hanging when i needed you.

even worse then that, when you can think of a thousand things to say, all of them good, but you cant formulate them into words. you have so many thoughts and emotions and actions you want to explain and tell people, but you find yourself at a loss for words to describe them with. like suddenly english has failed you and your left with nothing. fuck i hate when that happens. yet i find it happening more and more often lately.

i pose this challenge to you: if there is a time when i was talking to any of you out there, but i couldnt think of anything to say, i didnt say anything, or i said something dumb, tell me the scenario and il think of something better to say in that situation you where in with me. come on, bring it, i dare ya.

Mystery Team

View all Perth events on Eventful

I demand it! Demand it too! This movie is going to be absolutely awesome and I don't want to miss out on it just being released in the US.

We Are Our Superiors

"Demeaned... Why?"
Our values, that don't hurt anyone else... crushed by some random stranger, spinning a gun of words and criticisms.
Criticisms that are neither constructive or to help.
Criticisms that tell us to go down the path, and follow the way of the random gunslinger.
Does that sway us?
If an individual were to embrace these ways he will find it a superiority in him, that puts him beyond those who do not follow.
Demonstrated through history per Tyranny, Dictatorship, Religion and Government, Superior in groups, inferior individual.
Whether be in groups or individual, our values are placed on our demonstration of power.
When something is loathed by you, can you not help but speak out against it when your face is pressed so hard on it's glass?
By speaking out against a harmless life, demeaning and speaking the reality it is through your eyes, in direct spite on the person and there actions, does that make us bad?
It does not, it makes us human.
Jesus spoke out against those who were provoked into crucifying him, Just as Hitler spoke out against the same group of people.
Rappers, listening to there poetry of the streets will physically and verbally show there disgust to a walking fringe, pumping melodramatic songs of lost love into his ear lobes.
And, a man such as myself, speaks out against enhanced enjoyment, the act illicit drugs smuggled into the PEZ dispenser women are brought into this world with.
Does that sum me as a person, or does it just complete the Ying and Yang that is my mind and soul?
Do i want people to go down the pathway of Dante Lovecraft, or am i speaking out against a menacing pitiful activity?
A shared value among others, does this majority justify myself? Are the criticisms of the bad that don't directly harm others a bad thing for me?
It's hard, when something is generalized and "bad" when indeed it's doesn't harm anyone, directly or intentionally. Did someone who shares a view similar to mine make that rule, that was passed down society into my mind and the minds of others?
As personal as this is to me, it is just as personal to each one of you.
Those in a group of creation and god, a cover up for sick twisted acts and depraved intentions. Because your upbringing represented this good does that necessarily justify everything done? Or because you were raised to believe and understand, does it make it real?
If you were to raise a child, and educate him his whole life, that the name of the sky's color is green, if he didn't know otherwise he wouldn't question it.
If one was raised, and told that everyone had the intention of killing him, for so long and from such a young age, would he ever trust anyone but his educator?
Our values, again, are they entirely good?
Do our own personal judgements mean all that is truely right? obviously not.
And when you utter those few words to one individual, that demean and put down what there world is around them,
then the skies will fall down, violet and crimson in its collapsing swirls. And when caught up in it, swirls of emotion and tension will bring you down below the surface, away from everything else that other person was to you.
And with a chance and percentage of whether or not you will say anything, will determine whether the void will take you.
Because with those magic words, if the emotion power isn't in your hands, you will be dragged down, And your life involving one you have loved, yet was a faulted princess, may as well be Hell existing.
You'll call out to them, but the words you should have choked on will form nothing more than an ugly mask over your grief stricken face, making you look nothing like the man you once were, and more of a tormentor, knowing at the chamber doors, demanding entrance to shadow the view of the outside.
To Ourselves, we are everyone elses superiors in our particular ideals.
They will always be better.
And thats being human.
You may deny it, but you know in the back of your mind there have been moments where you will boil in someones own values, as innocent as they may be.
And in the end, if you were to utter the mask to distort your image, you'll find yourself asking
"Demeaning... Why?"

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHGHHHHH

THERE IS NO REASON TO THIS POST, BUT TO SAY.
I WENT, I SAW MARILYN MANSON
I CAN DIE, AND FEEL MY LIFE IS ACCOMPLISHED
IT WAS SOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
REVELL IN MY GLORY, THOU WHO HAS SEEEN MANSON WITH HIS OWN EYES
ITS LIKE SEEING GOD. IF GOD EXISTED. BUT IF GOD EXISTED HE'D BE MARILYN MANSON.
HE WAS FUCKIN THAT MICROPHONE LIKE NO TOMOROW


one thing i do wish to point out though.
I have seen Mr Martin, Robert Smith, and Marilyn Manson all standing on the exact same spot. At challenge stadium.
I dont know i just find that interesting.
thankyou for your time.

Well hello people

well, shouldnt i be revising for my exam im leaving for in 25 minutes?
narh
i'll come here
make a post on a blog that hasnt got a post in a while, poor neglected thing.

Anyway, as you've heard the Bilby chronicles is deceased, until someone here wishes to continue it themselves
head on over to assortedramblingsofcuntflakes.blogspot.com to read the final entry (below my post "wha ehh ahh")
please do it soon because i will be relocating the bilby chronicles to a different blog and removing them from my own.

But what is to come? well, considering how busy i'm going to be this following week you won't here much from me
you can expect 2 mini stories on this blog and my own that i am currently writing up.
One is something i wrote up in english and hope to finish
the other.... hahaha....
Let's say the other thing is a small part of a world that we wish to expand and become bigger, this minut story will keep you guessing as to what is going to happen with it.

Anyway, it has been long since this blog has seen anything that is of an assorted rambling, besides god and haircuts.
So i bring you!

Bilby 9 part 2. The unofficial sequel

Bilby jumps on sym for no particular reason and rips him appart, kills both jason and steve and kills himself.
Josh jizzes all over Quinten who then reverses all that happened because of what Josh did.
Dormors dominion no longer exists, Time has reversed to the graduation ceremony
Only none of the characters of this story exist anymore.
Except for Josh.
The End

Okay that sucked
i'll do a poem

Oh my weaney
It is josh heaney
come to the Knox
Where we'll meet David Cox
When you want a flower
go get engulfed by its cunt
or just give it a good punt
because the wolves are all about
making lots of hamburgers
for the dirty hangovers
of Josh's wild night
his rape it came of fright
And when the dark seeps near
you know Jacob is here
because you know without a doubt
that this shit obviously came from his mouth.
or maybe from his keyboard
its such a typical display
it will leave you in dismay
An awesome dude is James May
Because Top Gear is a good show
I cant give a shit about Cars, for all thee know
BUt those dudes are surely funny
they'll leave your diarhea seeping runny

What. The. Hell.

http://yourbeautyspot.ninemsn.com.au/slideshow_ajax.aspx?sectionid=5339§ionname=slideshow&subsectionid=155725&subsectionname=fashionweek_hairstyles&rss=yes

God has abandoned the human race.

for her

i met you at a party i was sceptical about going to. i was sitting there thinking "i wish bilby had more hot female friends who are single", and who should come down the stairs at that exact moment??? you.

in an australian flag t-shirt and a tartan skirt. you sure stood out :P i looked at you, and our eyes met. and i dont think i looked away for a few minutes. i tried to talk to you that night. but i didnt know what to say. i think i ended up talking about blowing us all up... but you didnt freak out and run away from my weirdness. you smiled and laughed. and i felt happy that i heard you laugh. even if only for a minute. then mr bilby came up to me and said very bluntly that you had a boyfriend. hopes, smashed. thanks bilby :)

i went home and i couldnt sleep. i kept thinking about you. i began checking your blog every day to see what you had posted. you made me laugh, even if it was only over the internet. then you added me on msn. and that first night, i ended up telling you some things iv never told anyone else before. and we talked till about 4 in the morning. and i didnt want to stop talking to you. you fascinated me. you were funny and smart, and you seemed to find me interesting for god knows what reason.

the second night we talked even longer. and at the end of the night, neither of us wanted to stop talking to each other. but mutual need of sleep soon beat us. i stayed over my friends place. he went to bed at like 10, and i spent all my credit texting you through the night. when i ran out, i felt bad that i had dropped the convo mid sentence and i went out to get more the very next morning.

my parents went away, and i actually got the chance to hang out with you. you got tipsy off of one jim beam shot with coke :) your sister scared me shitless and she seemed to hate me. your dog tried to eat me. and then one day i wasnt allowed over your sister came home early and i had to run out the back door and hide around the corner till you let me out of your garage :P god, that was intense.

then i asked you out. and you actually said yes! and i was so happy. i met your parents and they hated me. you met mine and they liked you. my little sister is now obsessed with you. your sister actually appears to like me now. i met your friends, and they were really awsome. kinda scary, but awsome none the less :) you met some of my friends, you go to the same ice skating as grace, you talk with cobb online, and your friends with em now. although you hate fiona for some reason.....

you put up with me, week in week out, even when im the biggest tool. you cry to me over the phone, and i make you smile and laugh again. i get to kiss you on the weekends, and i never want it to end. we sit in your living room watching little brittain and horror movies, and i get to hold you in my arms. you care about me, you say that you love me, and you accept me for the fucked up indavidual that i am.

im sorry for every time iv upset you, i refuse to apologise for every time iv made you cry out in exasperation, im thankful for every minute that im with you, and i cherish every memory i have with you. and this is just for you.

unfair much

il keep this short. i am sitting here in subject suspension because the teacher doesnt like me. im suspended from jewelary. seriously, who the fuck gets suspended from a non TEE subject that no-one even does work in???

put simply, im not very good at the subject, hence i work slowly, hence the teacher doesnt like me and so has basically invented a reason to kick me out.

yesterday, i was the only person doing work. steve was walking around with a pair of hammers under his shirt making it look like a pair of niples. jacob and jordan were pretending to hammer steel rods into each others and my asses. fiona and em spent most of the time laughing at us and making fun of my crappy looking project i am working on. yea, told u i wasnt good at the subject :P

anyway, i just think its slightly unfair is all. well wont the teacher get a surprise when i do less work in suspension then i do on a regular daily basis???

cheerio till next time :)

Lights Up! Let The Show Begin!

In The Begining, there was God. He sat down, looking upon all his creation, his loui vatton bag hanging from his flamboyant shoulder. The new issue of heat lying on the floor. he was as bored as hell. SO he pulled out his directors chair and said "Let there be Lights Up!" and to his illuminated stage of actors he spoke "Let the Show Begin".
And so it began.
And so has it been for all time.
The mysteries of the reality of the universe, in our true consciousness. But what we really think with, is the consciousness of the character we play.
We live and die as these characters.
Ourselves, we are all characters in a long play. Flamboyantly masked and played, completely foreign and fictional to our true selves.
But one day, it is prophesised. That may the butterflys flutter away, showing everything there truely is to the world.
reveal to us, in this grand play, what is what.
the sunshine our lighting
the world around us our prop.
Us? the actors of course.
i mean, we can only act in our costumes for so long.

At some point in our lives there has to be an intermission to this very show.
At some point in an actors life.
At some point the butterflys masking and holding the actor, that give them there very appearance, one day they'll flutter away and what would be left is a mystical and magical being.
A truye Lawrence Olivier
A true Anthony Hopkins, Humphry Boggart, Johnny Depp, Leornardo Di Caprio.

But of what appearance?
A lesser more frail form no doubt, but a more pure one.
They wish to be more, they strive to be more so they act.
They act in this play that is our lives.
This play "life" represents nothing they have.
They have to deal with the trivial matters of magic and mystisicm.
There is no normal in our real place of fantasy.
Normal is dreamt of to the Truth as Magic is dreamt of the the False.
So may the butterflies flutter, and we become who we are destined to be.
No longer we run, no longer we lie, no longer we hide.
Manifestations release themselves.
Sexuality blossom into its pure loving scent.


This play was written to reverse roles, so that the magic is something the norm is in the real world.

So our lesson in life, is when the butterflies flutter and dissapear

I am a Terrible Person

It's not a question like when everyone else says it. I really am :P I scare small children... and I want a shirt that says that (*ahem* suggestion for christmas present?) I also have proof that I'm scary! Just look at this authentic conversation between me and a friend's little brother on facebook:

(Oh yeah, btw background information: I decided I would say his name multiple times in a row once because I told him it was fun to say... so it started off as saying ti 3 times in a row then 5 and so)

Btw his last name has been edited out for his protection... I don't want anyone stalking him but ME OK?

Bilby: OMG! IT'S CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! (now up to SIX TIMES! Because you're 6 times more awesome than any other of the Cheekin's I know!) HEEEEELLOOOOO!!! Hello.
45 Minutes ago
Cheekin:

youre starting to freak me out :O

42 minutes ago
Bilby: (Cheekin needs an adult!) I'm only STARTING!? What!? You confirmed my friend request, you obviously don't find me too scary... and come on! All I did was say hello and hell your name 7 times and compare you to imaginary people... who would find THAT scary cheekin cheekin cheekin?

40 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

er..yes..o_O

38 minutes ago
Bilby:

Although you are scared of me, I want you to know you can always rely on me to be there for you... even when you don't want me to be... but I'll be there.

37 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

heh..thats nice..

36 minutes ago
Bilby:

yes. isn't it just? It's nice just like your name cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin :) Do you admire yourself in the mirror?

31 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

not usually

30 minutes ago
Bilby:

does that mean that there are times? I would if I had a name like cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin cheekin. It's so cool. I'd say it to myself over and over. Next year I can legally change my name. I'm thinking maybe... "Steve"...

29 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

no just said it so you would leave me alone T^T

27 minutes ago
Bilby:
But why would I leave you alone Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin? You're so cool! :) And we're friiiiieeeendds on facceeeboook!

26 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

right..so im gonna stop talking to you now..

17 minutes ago
Bilby:

I've never felt more rejected and hurt! :'( I don't love you anymore Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin.....

17 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

phew what a relief

14 minutes ago
Bilby:

That's still talking to me! Does that mean there's still hope for our relationship? I'm sorry Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin! Please forgive me? We can still be faaaacceebook friiiiieeeendss...

13 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

no. and im going to sleep :O

12 minutes ago
Bilby:

Well I'm going to cry myself to sleep then! :'( Goodnight CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! Sweet dreams! Don't let the bed bugs bite! I promise not to watch you while you sleep :)

Farewell my fair prince!

10 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

ew. well now you probably made me not able to sleep

6 minutes ago
Bilby:

We can stay up together! Hey do you have msn? Come paly tic tac to with me :D

5 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

no thanks just the thought of that made me feel like sleeping again!

22 seconds ago
Bilby:

*whispers* Goodnight.... cheekin... cheekin... cheekin... cheekin......................

Then:

Bilby:

I know you're not sleeping! You're on maple dammit!

15 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

lol how did you know i play maple

14 minutes ago
Bilby:
BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! How dare you lie to me! I feel so hurt... just for that I'm not giving you back your pet cat!

13 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:

of course im not sleeping its 920

11 minutes ago
AP:

stop freaking him out!!!! omg can u please b a clown for sport canival!!! please please please

11 minutes ago
Bilby:

Well maybe you go to bed at a respectable hour? Who knows!? All I know is that you LIED to ME!!!! :'( *cries* I've never been hurt as much as I have been tonight...

...and no, I'm going as a Lemming to the sports carnival

9 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:

whos fraser logan?

9 minutes ago
Bilby:

FRASER LOGAN is the guy on the ad for smarter than smoking. You know how the guy doesn't get to go to the party because he can't afford it? (yet somehow can afford a video phone...) It's FRASER LOGAN!

5 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:

why is weird ppls i dont know adding me?!?!

5 minutes ago
Bilby:

Because we love you...

5 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:

i havent seen that ad

4 minutes ago
Cheekin:

actually i dont think ive seen smarter than smoking ads in a while

3 minutes ago
Bilby:

But... you need to! It's FRASER LOGAN's BIG breakthrough performance! He's on the tv for a whole 2 seconds!

3 minutes ago
Bilby:

well if you haven't seen them in a while then obviously that means it's OK to smoke then... so hey, when I'm 18 do you want me to buy you cigs? I wil... for YOU Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin

2 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:

oh you were serious? i can never tell with you

2 minutes ago
Bilby:

I'm always serious.... ALWAYS....

about a minute ago ·
Cheekin:

right. well im really gonna go now

44 seconds ago
Cheekin:

nice talking to you...i guess? o_O

28 seconds ago
Bilby:

It's been REALLY REALLY NICE to talk to you too Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin! (See? Now we're up to 7 just because you said that:) You like me aww) Goooooddnniggghhtt my ffaaaacceebook frrriiiieeendd :P

2 seconds ago

The end :)

The really weird thing was how he actually had confirmed my friend request to begin with when he knew I was going to be weird and creepy towards him... and the even weirder thing is he didn't actually bother to remove me from his friends list during/after that... Hmm.

I Come Tonight To Bring You...

Why hello boys and girls, ladies and gentleman.

I would like to introduce you to this extravagent event, yes. One to behold in your memories until the day you die yes sir-y.

And now, fine people of the audience i bring you...

Shit all really...

How is everyone?

Me? Well i feel like crap. Ill and all those shitty problems in life. yeah...

Oh well how about some creative writing then?

And so on came the time of Joshua Von Heaniwinkle, as he slew the dragon Davidanius Coxlickerartius.
On his journey home the head he held came alive and gave him fellatio.

Urgh sorry everyone, my juices aren't working today.
I knoooowww it was dissapointing, maybe oneday i can retell that fine story of the fine knight ;)

narh its a shit idea i wont.

Ummmmm,,,, now.

I'm going to a fancy restuarant later. oooh yummy.



EAT DICK AND PROSPER..

fan_FUCKING_tastic

Ooh, does everyone want to here a factual day in the life of ol' Edgar?
No, but i'll tell you anyway.
Well, my life was considerably uneventful until it got to 4th period.
I sat around, depressed at the eventfulness of my current life. so i was kinda robotic for the end of that period.
then i went and filmed for a bit, coming back i run into my ex girlfriend, who's name is "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger".

now you see, i'll take you back to a little insightful backstory of my life.
Boy gets hugged by random girl, boy talks to girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, boy gives girl necklace.
now what is this necklace?
this necklace, is indeed a gift from my mother. It isn't worth much, but i dont often see my mother.
I see her once a year, so i take all the time i'm with her for granted, and this necklace becomes of huge sentimental value to myself, because its from mummy :D.
because it was worth a lot to me, i thought it was a romantic gesture for my girl to have it for aslong as my heart is hers, or some romantic bullshit like that.

Anyway, little miss "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" dumps me for another dude. Her best mate.
he is a little weedytrys-to-be-scene-but-fails kiddo who has a criminal record for shop lifting and gets beaten up by 14 year olds.
yeah...dont i fell great, i get dumped for that :\
what does that make me?
dont answer that! lol

so back to the story, i'm walking back with Afroman, holding my camera with a tripod and "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" is behind me.
i turn and say "oi, i want my necklace back",

"slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" mutters something.

i then say "OI! I WANT MY FUCKI-" thwack i walk into a pole....

Afroman looks at me and starts laughing. I then start laughing at the hillarity of the situation.

Okay, there i am, trying to make a statement, against some horrible human being. And what happens to me? I WALK INTO A POLE.
OFF ALL THINGS....A POLE.

straight after that i just couldnt look dignified you know, which made the rest of the arguement horribly awkward.

Anyway, i dont know whats happening with the necklace. but i got considerably upset after this confrontation,
i'm laying at the desk and everyones like "haha ohh Edgar you look tired"
I'm like "i'm not tired...."
there like "oh then stop slacking LOL"
i'm like "grrrrrrr asshole"

Bilby actually noticed, as did Netsrik who i had a talk with briefly before the gossipy girls surround and mobbed her with hairclip compliments.

Afroman and Jethron Gastroll said they'd back em up on the bus since "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" takes the bus with them.

i walk home

i infact walked home with Bilby.

Anyway, i get home and all is pretty cool. i just hope i get to go out this weekend.

anyway, just felt i should tell you how much it sucks to have all dignity taken out of you at a time you really need it.

CHOW CHOW

bored

i havnt posted a blog in a while

so i thought i would

so

anyone read cobbs blogg lately???

it is rather good if i do say so myself. he can be a bit of a sick puppy, it would seem. but what he sais is usually true, funnily enough. i also have started my own blog now. unfortunately it is not anywhere near as good as cobbs or my beloved raynes. well, its about equall with cornflakes, but only cause she never posts anything at all. come on people, make with the interesting posts already! except you cobb, your working overtime at the moment.

oh, and public enemies was really over-rated. just kept going and going and going.

When A Monster Cums

When a monster cums your child will die
the devil may sing, and the angels may cry

With a monsters touch your flowers wither
The perverts sigh and the maggots slither

In a monsters embrace you lose your faith
In an empty world, death haunts like a wraith

In monster pornography a massacre begins
bloody fellatio, shown with a pedophiles sins

When a monster breeds you'll loose your tongue
You'll suffer in agony, for whats about to come

When a monsters born it'll split you open
we'll see your insides, and you'll know it's touch again.

from a land of sluts and gluttony

from a land of sluts and gluttony

where the deviants come to play

from a land of sluts and gluttony

where the perverts get to prey

from a land of sluts and gluttony

what else is there, but a foul Gomorrah stench? you've smelt it before but not in abundance.

it tickles your nose, the dirty sex smell, taking you back to such dirty acts, depraved and ecstatic, but the smells of a different meaning to dirty.

the foul overpowering sickening stench, of what happens all around. Your envy of everyone else, as they twist and turn and go to places you've not yet dared entered.

But oh what is this? here comes the whore of babylon, wrapped in her red stained silk. The moisture of her cunt, making the silk cling on like a tick at an artery.
And the crowd goes wild as she takes in her next willing bachelor.
Through the crust of a thousand men was a goal worth clutching between her open legs.

The crowd continues to roar. and the roar becomes a screech. a succubi call of fornication
excretion
ingestion
Amatuar transvestites dance around the couples embrace. There embrace turns to one, and from that one they sprout like a flower.
beautiful crimson flowers, surrounded by a tan leaf barrier,
and so forth come the bee's who wish to pollinate this bloomed flower.
taking with it the milk, the essense and the beauty. leaving behind an empty dry husk.
And at the fall of the whore of babylon, so came the birth of many.
Her milk delivered to the children, to the townsfolk and to the unlearned.
For what became was a revolution.

From a future born to lead a sexual revolt, came an offsplit. Like an amoeba.
those children fed on the milk, around the Ova of a dying world.

and so from a land of sluts and gluttony came a world of death for the living and life for the dying

My newwwwww blog

hey everyone!
guess what? I made my own Blog :D
over here at:
http://assortedramblingsofcuntflakes.blogspot.com/

Oh, don't worry lovey's. you dont have to cry.
I won't be leaving you all :'(

I'd just be able to focus on oddities there.

anyway JOIN IT, if your upto it become an author on it

Rollerskating

Hey want to go a fundraiser for Tafe with me?

Sure!

It's at a rollerdrome in Moorly.

.......as in... skating....

Yes...

Oh goodie!

I haven't tried to skate since I was about... 7? Oh goodie this is going to be great! Long bus trip time! OK so we're here but no one else is because we're half an hour early. So we (Lorna, her friend and I btw) decide to go find food.... which was surprisingly hard to find when you're surrounded by random businesses that sell matresses and fridges (which unfortunately aren't food!) but we were kindly picked up by one of Lorna's friends who was driving past (it was rather scary... walking along -at night -when this voice says our names from behind and asks us if we're lost) and directed to the food! Also known as Nando's. (Nando's! Yay! The place were their chips taste good cold) Now armed with a bag of food we went back to the rollerdrome! (the dreaded... dreaded... evil rollerdrome....)

How do I know what size I am?

*points*

Ah.

5 minutes later:

I don't think these come in a bigger size... I sure hope they're not too small...

I sure hope these aren't too big...

(I'll leave you to try and figure out who that dialogue belongs to... until you read the next sentence)

Turns out that they just fitted me. Took a bit of effort to get those on but I managed to squeeze into them. Surely there must be people out there with bigger feet than me (as much as I'd like to brag about having large feet I'm sure there's a store that sells shoes larger than the ones I've got... just need to find it) so they must've had some special large ones for such an occasion...

Waaa! OK... wow I feel tall! I'm so tall... the wall is my friend. Agh how do you move in these things?

Suddenly, a little girl about 4 or 5 skates past us quite fast with complete control over what she was doing.....

What!? That little girl is so good and I can't even move! Ergh! *Tries to walk normally* Aha! I have managed to get forward!

OK you know what Willy Wonka sounds like? Yeah... dirty. Well let's just say "Wonka" man also came blazing along on the outside of the rink right past us. He had a very annoying way of stopping/slowing down. He'd go all ice-skater on you and stop by scraping his skates along horizontal to his path so it'd slow him down quickly while going EEERRRRR!!!! The weird thing was he was middle aged... when everyone else was either 14 (because of some kids birthday party) or 17-20 (Tafe + me! Yay for youngest older?) except for the 4 year old girl (whose skates were so large and thick compared to her legs I wondered how she was even able to move them...) so there he was... this strange old man skating around amateurs like a semi-pro making us all feel pathetic and giving some of a feeling of impending doom as we wonder if he's stopping behind us because maybe he's about to hit us....

Hey let's go trip some pretentious little kids who think they're better than us...

Unfortunately they're just too fast to trip up and whiz past you when you're trying to learn how to move forward. Curse them!

Meanwhile, Wonka man is still skating round in circles!

OK everyone it's time for a GAME!

What?

OK you all need to skate to a circle with a number in it and when I say stop you stop. Then we roll a dice and the number that lands the people in that circle are out!

No one informed me they'd boss me around with large fluffy dice!

Once I got into the circle I thankfully had so little momentum I came to a stop halfway through. I didn't know how to stop let alone how to get moving properly... I didn't get out so wasn't apparently allowed to leave. Damn, have to go to a new circle? How!? I managed to get into a circle all by my self.... awww...

Well, the games came on and off, being replaced by general skating or me getting off the rink to go avoid having to try and move around. I learnt how to stop during my time of the rink though! It often involved me coming towards a wall and then stopping sudenly while trying to look non-chalante and then pose and go "Hey..." to anyone nearby.

Damn ranga kid nearby would then skate past and say "EPIC FAIL!" to which I'd reply: "SHUT UP!" (I'm ever so witty)

After half a bag of Nando's chips and some practice I had managed to become moderately adequate at skating! I was now capable of moving forward at a reasonable pace without wobbling, toppling or falling! (Which I rarely did even when I had barely any control over what I was doing) When I wobbled I'd just straighten up and then pose to show just how awesome I am that I didn't fall over that time! Wow!

EPIC FAIL!

Shut up! I'm not epic fail!

Mwahaha it's so fun chasing people down with skates then actually being able to manuever away from the wall before you hit it! It didn't take too long to learn how to do this :) I'm so glad I am no longer grossly inadequate and incompetant compared to that little 4 year old that likes to surpass me. (It's always a good sign when I have overcome my inadequacies brought on by small children....?) Well by the end I was even turning round in mid skate and going the other direction without falling over! Was absolutely wonderful! I felt so awesome.

And so did Wonka man... singing along to all the songs (loudly) and skating rings around us all... hence his name "Wonka" man. Oh yes.... what a Wonka he is to be singing obnoxiously to songs while he shows off. Well I decided to mock him and go "WONKA MAN AWAY!" and pose but it unfortunately led to me falling over and completely stacking it... this was just after I had decided I was stable enough I didn't need wrist guards and so took them off so I could hold hands with Lorna... ow. Oh well. Strangely enough she only wanted to hold hands while stationary because she didn't seem to think that I was completely good enough to skate right next to in case I fall over and accidentally drag her down/land on her... I wonder why...

By the end of the night I still didn't know how to stop properly and had to rely on people getting out of my way while I slowed down... it worked pretty reliably actually.

OK everyone get into couples! It's your last chance to win a prize for this evening! OK the couples just have to do as I say! Skate holding hands with your partner!

Awww....

OK now when I say change, change direction! Change!

OK. This doesn't seem too hard.

Change!

Urgh...

Change! OK now go low... skate as low as you can... and now stretch up high! Now low again...... lower.... everyone participate come on. Now high. Low. High. Low. High! Low! High! Low! Sit down! Stand up! Now do sit ups! More! More! OK and up......... and change.......... change....... change. Change. Change. Change. Change! Change! Changechangechangechangechange!

F*** you lady!

Changechangechangechangechangechange! Alright! I think that's enough. Goodnight everyone, please return your gear.

No last song? Oh well. Did you enjoy yourself?

Yes, I did very much. And now I know how to skate :) I also didn't fall down more than a few times!

Very good!

And that was the tale of how I learnt to fall down gracefully....

The end.

My Sex Life.

Well... I wish i didnt go through the last 5 hours of my life. but i did. and i suppose i had to, because quite honestly, i had to try get laid.
But why did i have to go to that club? on that night?
Was it the mysterious forces of the god of the fucked that brought me there, or was it just sheer luck?
I suppose it's just one of the many mysteries that dwells in the inner depths of my mind.

I been having a little drink at home, i didn't have much, afterall there wasn't really much in the first place... So anyway, being depressed from just recently going through a horrible break up, i had to get out there, and i needed more drink also. So why not go down to the bar?
I did so anyway. I walk through the door.. the first thing i see is some fat hulk of a thing lying passed out on the pool table. A group of guys are surrounding it. This "thing" gets up, and i think " oh it's a woman" then i was like "oh wait no it isnt" thewn i was like "oh, wait, yep it is" then i was like "i honestly don't know what the FUCK IT IS"
All of a sudden she looks over, and a huge grin goes onto her face. "ohhh fuck!" i exclaimed. i don't mean to be shallow or anything, but i dont want this thing paying attention to me. I mean, c'mon, worst case scenerio it'll be wasted night by having this fat thing dribbling all over me.
It's how it's always been though, i can never really attract a normal woman, there either fucking weird, weird looking, suicidal tendencies and on several occasions not even a woman at all.
I was considering walking out this bar right that second.
the incredible blob yells "Edgar!!!", and i'm like "FUCK, she knows my name".
how, how could i possibly know this person. I'm astressing out, am i at my stalkers bar or what the fuck is it?
She slides right off, her geletan stomache wriggling all around the place outta control!
Gosh this woman has such a resemblance to my high school friend Steve it's not funny.
....wait...holy fuck.... THAT IS STEVE.'
"ohai steven, didn't think i'd see you here, after so many years after high school"
Steve all of a sudden stresses out. He pulls me over, raising his hand, i see under his armpit.
ewww, just something about arm pit hair ON ANYONE that makes me want to vomit. seriously.
"dude, dont let those guys over there know my name. i got a god thing going"
"oh steve you didn't become a hooker did you?"
"narh bro, i'm doing a drunk bust up"
"a drunk bust up?"
"yeah man. what happens is you designate the drunk chick, after you've got a few guys hanging off you, you stumble drunk outside where a group will mob them, you act like the damsel in distress, while ya mates put you in the truck, and the guys dont even know it was your master plan all along."
i look over to this group of guys. All weird featured dudes in there late 50's, ealry 60's. there foreheads and eyeballs all seemd quite exagerated, they were obviously all single.
But what i didnt get it how Steven got away with his horrid disguise, geez he certianly put on some weight since our high school days.

Anyway, Steve led the eager dudes out the bar, while i took a seat. There was a weird group of girls, all in funny wigs, tipsy off whatever it was they were drinking. Bartenders and barmaids alike looking over in embarrasment, they'd obviously been that annoying a good amount of the night.
The cackling of there horrid drunk laughs, the weird conversation topics.
I mean, it did clarify some questions i had. You know how you see those extremely overweight women in public in ther e50's or 60's, that have no sex appeal to them at all? You think "god did they ever look like anything else before they turned to this or are they like ammeaba's and just split off asexually from one another, born of the exact appearance.
Would make sense anyway, people like that are of a face you see a million times.
but back to what i was saying. no what i said beforew, that theory, was proven wrong.
I know what they looked like. All though they kept a womanly figure, (nbot all of them) the faces just echoed what i have seen so many time, the fickle single asexual women, that hate all thats human in society and stay in a world of there own. The weird friend of your mothers that you always suspected of being lesbian, but wasn't.
Anyway they look over at me and there all like "wooooaaaaaaaaaaah!". Oh fuck what is it people noticing me? i always attract a weird group in the wrong way.
Don't get me wrong, i love weird groups, there interesting and quircky. But i don't want to have sex with them.
It's like, i have a dog because it's a personality and unique, not because i wanna fuck it.
I turn around, looking twice to see if i was drunk enough to take just a slight interest, but as i do i notice a hot little number walking her way to the barstand.
"ohai", i say to her as she sits. Beautiful short brown hair, hazel eyes, a volumptous figure, and a small beautiful smile to top it off.
"hey" she smiles back.
All of a sudden a huge commotion at the door.
It Slams shut, and there stands one of Steven's pick ups from the pool table. In his late 50's, balding, wearing a boring brown suit with plated shirt. His pale sweaty forehead was bleeding, a treacle running down just pass his eye.
He was crying irratically, almost screaming.
The bartender, an athletic built kiwi, stands up "hey hey hey, whats the commotion?".
"I'VE...(HUGE HIGH PITCHY WHINGING AND PUFFING GOING ON)...BEEN...(Oh fuck is that a huge piss stain on his pants?)...R-R-R-R-R-R-ROBBBED!!!".
The bartender jumps over the barstand and makes his way over "who did this? what happened exactly?" he turns to the barmaid, a blonde in her late 20's, "Katie, dial 000, tell them there's been a mugging"
"MA GIRRLLLL!!!" that iradic, poor, awkward look man, crying and whining still. "THEY TOOK HER IN A VAN!".
"Who, the fat transvestite?" the puzzled bartender, being forced to think fast in this situation (the poor sod), replies with no real thought.
"SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SAMANTHA", oh god that's not more piss going down his trousers is it? and do i smell shit?
I turn to look over at the pretty brunette, "huh,what a commotion, am i right?"
she wasn't there......fuck.
"don't worry honey, i know how to make it all better"
Urgh...you gotta be shitting me...
I turn to see her french kissing the robbed man...
great...
I've had enough at this point. Sure they're werent too many obsceneties to make me break down. but after my recent break up, and my need for some human contact (with a more attractive female, i dont mean to be shallow, but it's what i have ben urging exactly. i cant change that, it's like when your in the mood for lasagne, it's not going to go away by eating raw potatoes)
anyway wherew was I? yes, after my break up, and my urge for contact, i just came to some werird conclusion.
Oh gosh those fucking weird wigged girls in the corner again, all the oohing and aahing of that confusing spectator sport at the door, the soiled man getting a new sort of wettness in his pants.
well there they go, out the door and into the night.
But i basically lost it. i thought, "well hey, i'm fairly normal am i right? (dead silence from the third person perspective). "Why is it the weird guy gets the girl? and the normal dude gets the weirdo's?"
so i look over to see a busty blonde in the corner, really defined features in her face, strong jaw line. I walk over there and i flop out my junk.

"hey bitchhhhnipples, wana ride maaa donkey stick it costa you free dollah!!"

At first she was taken aback by my gesture ("yes my theory worked huzzah!!!!"), i decided to be on the safe side.
"i gotta shove poopoo in da microwave so the rhino's dont get to it before the adventurerers from taraploonga get there first!".
now that weirded her out.
Oh...my theory didn't work :(
but then i realised there was more to it then met the eye.
urgh, how could i have been so STUPID!
It was the token barr transvestite (not steven).
I knew those defined facial features were too much!
Very similiar looking to one on a movie me and my friend josh watched the previous day called the bagman.
Well, no lost there.
I can see she lost interested after the poopoo comment, and neither did the wigged girls.
Obviously because i was the only "conventional" man in there before, they all set there weird sights on me, and now that i showed i was no different (supposedly) they all got up and left.

Well at least it did leave the normal people :)


which there were none.


oops i forgot to put my junk back in my pants ^-^ forgive me for that!




Well, i got home, blue balls, cold balls (from over exposure to the dense atmosphere of the bar), blue mind, nasty tinge of vomit mixed with rum in my mouth, and nerves like you wouldnt believe.
yeah, being drunk with nerves, bit of a lose lose isnt it? isnt it like physically impossible? lol i dont know....

Anyway... Just to show... Why is it only the scary people show an interest in me when im out at places? :(

i dont mean to post a shallow sounding blog, thats my last intention, but i just wish to express how sometimes, what you need can get easily confused with what you want when other people see you.
i have yet to have a nice experience with someone i can feel on an emotional level with.

but thankyou for reading my vented sexual frustration, in a quasi fictional narrative...

(ps. NO i did not meanm STEVE BARRON. this steve is fictional. although if steve greww upto play drunk bust up i'd piss myself laughing)
(btw i created the concept of drunk bust up)

curse you derek

welly welly welly well well my little droogies, it has been a while, has it not??? to be honest not a lot of fun stuff has been happening in my life to post about. still nothing is actually, but i felt bad that i hadnt posted in a while. soooooooo, how are we all??? thats good isnt it??? everybody's hunky dory. i find myself getting rapidly sick of all that unfortunately. the whole meandering pointlesness to everyday life. its so boring. i cant wait for the end of the world, things may finally start to get more interesting.

i have a question for the readers: do you find it irritating when people continually ask you what is wrong, when on that particular day you are actually doing pretty good??? well yesterday i got that from not 1, not 2, BUT 3 PEOPLE! seriously, do i look like something's up with me??? well, you all wouldnt know, as i am communicating through a computer screen and keyboard. so unless you all have hidden camera's in my house, wich im kinda suspecting that people do, you couldnt say.

career and enterprise, finally a subject were im not the only one wagging! 5 people wagged it on wednesday, and the teacher had a massive rage at us on thursday. it was pretty funny, caus ehe knew that most of us wagged, but he couldnt prove it. i said i was feeling sick and went to lie down. hehehe, dodged the bullet :P

my music library has begun expanding rapidly lately, wich i am quite happy with. unfortunately i have hit a bit of a wall at the moment, so if anyone knows any really good stuff, please dont hesitate to tell me so. staying round cobbs tonight. he wants to make a rap video for his youtube channel starring me :S im not entirely sure wether to be excited or sceptical, im thinking i should be leaning towards the sceptical side of things, knowing the other video's he has made. inbred hillbilly, hehehe good times. i was married to the inbred hillbilly at one point. what a wedding that was.

i am so over this whole education crap. seriously i am counting down the days till i dont have to get up for school anymore. and with uni im just going to do what derek does. he hasnt gone to a single lecture, he downloads them off the internet at home. and he's passing! what a legend that derek is. except the time he nearly killed me in his car. i was riding in the boot, and i thought he was purposefully shaking the car about just to cause me to smash into the sides of the boot. then i got out of the car, and jesse was like, yea derek nearly crashed about 5 times back there, you would have died. and then jason came up and was like, yea he was pretty high as well, your kinda lucky he managed to avoid crashing. and i was just standing there like, derek you basterd, i am going to kill you.

then i pulled out my gun and shot him in the face!!!!! nah, not really. im kinda short on firearms at the moment. i must make a purchase of one sometime incase derek decides to drive while high again. then theres hamish who drag raced with an undercover cop car. he's supposed to be in court in 7 weeks. he wont be getting his licence back for a looooooooong time now.

oh and rayne: how have i changed??? you said to cornflake that i have changed since u got back from scotland. i dont think i'v changed, have i??? how have i changed??? and more importantly, why did you not just come and say it to my face instead of texting my friends??? im not mad, im just confused. grrr, why do i still try to understand girls???

oh and for those who dont know, i have created a new blog! its pretty much entirely about music and songs. just sometimes get the urge to go on tangeants about music, and i thought this would be the best way to go about it. well if you wanna check it out, dont hesitate to. oh and leave plenty of comments please, i like to hear other peoples oppinions and responses :) well, i must get ready for cobb's now, so i shall hopefully post again within the week. till the next time, your friendly neighbourhood thing that should not be.

rofl.

I have scarred you all....


The Ice whore named jethro was getting his glaass violently pounded by 2 black cockrals, while the skinny deviant looking caucasian man takes his head and forces his cockatoo down his throat.
There birds were so friggen violent that jethro's tits were spinning round and round and round. The heart shaped tattoo on his breast no longer visible from the constant movement.
And then when the cockrals bite? That smile on the jethro's face as the boys pull out and release candy into his open mouth... is it that he is enjoying the candy? or is it that he's glad the cockral banging on his glasses has stopped, and that he can go back home to his tumor he struggles to feed, and the drug habit he struggles to defeat.

If a sensitive soul such as Bilby, in his "bleeped out world", were to be exposed to this video, he'd be scared as fuck, LIKE ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD WOULD BE.
Infact, it will probably drive him so insane that his mind will snap and he will carry the facial expression and language as the picture above.
One day you'll see the world for what it isnt is Bilby, and when you do, your heart will bloom like a flower and the bee's will come to pollinate you.
GOOD BOY!!!!!




Now honestly, this isn't being funny but it's a fuckload more crazy than it previously was.

Perfect World

(This guy didn't get to go to Comic-con)

Do you believe in good news in preference to bad? Do you think the war will be over by spring-time? Have you got faith in our generals? If the answers to any of these questions is yes, then you are sufferin' from that dread disease, Optimism, and should take seven days' leave immediately.

Wish you'd take ten.

No I'm not making a political statement about war, I'm quoting a play. "Oh What a Lovely War" (satire) is a fascinating musical about World War 1 that my school is making a performance of. It's even been advertised in the local paper and my role was mentioned briefly! They mentioned multi-media and that's my job. Sure I stuff up every now and then and end up making gunshots and explosion noises halfway through people's dialogue but other than that I'm good at it.

Damn right no one can click a mouse button like me! I am the button clicking master.

My eyes hurt from looking at the computer screen for a few hours... the really terrible thing is today I'm going to have to sit in the dark trying to read a small script for four hours so I know the cues. That's going to cause a massive headache! Yay! It would be nice if we had a perfect world without eye pain or head pain.

Speaking of the world. It's ending soon. 2012 coming soon! Along with The Book of Eli (which ISN'T the Fallout 3 movie people!) 9 and The Road which goes nicely with previous end of the world movies like The Day After Tomorrow, the Resident Evil series, 28 Days/Weeks Later and Knowing (although unfortunately, I don't think anyone can really claim a better movie moment than Twister and it's flying cow). We've got so many end of the world movies recently. Perhaps it'll overtake fantasy and magic as the new popular trend. Watch out Harry Potter, LOTR and Twilight! The world is ending! (Live forever now Edward! Live forever now!) During the 40's we had war films, 50's we had sci-fi films, 60's we had... lots of pretty colours and groovy busses and then there were some... trends in the 70's and 80's but I don't know what they were but I'm sure they existed. Now, the new century brings the end of the world showing you just how optimistic we all are about global warming/nuclear war/terrorism/zombiepocalypse.

I personally believe in optimism. I believe we can survive the zombiepocalypse! Sure, the facebook quiz I took says I'll only last a year at the max but I am confident that if we all band together and work hard for a better future we can avoid being torn to pieces and being eaten by ravenous hordes of rotting animate corpses of old people and the homeless. I suggest that we try to eradicate them today, for a better world tomorrow.

Join me in weekly cullings of the aged and homeless. We can achieve anything... together.

P.S. Oh no! Zombie whores! Don't let them bit you or you'll get infected! *hits drums*