Friday, October 30, 2009

Deja' Vu. Here we go again, different path? same path? better or worse? An Abstract Memoir for this moment in time, contradictory? then what is it?

something good has happened.
something i thought wouldn't.
but that all too familiar sadness has accompanied it.
and i go on thinking things would be better, but when met with the reality of the situation the worst possible thing happens.
same daggers, different name.

I know what is right, patience.
but i can i dare stand it for so long?
decisions will be made, problems will arise
so do i let the past repeat itself?
i should make do at this second chance,
but then again, chance doesn't exist in these terms?
and if it is a determination of my life, is it for the good?
I can try be strong, and then suffer the same degradation i did before..
become second rate, second hand to myself as before.
Could i stand another renewal?
or shall i just draw from my new founded weaknesses and work from there?

There is no reason this is happening once again. But there is a rare opportunity, just as there was a rare opportunity as before.
is it possible to clench these emotions, be as conscious with them through analysis whilst at the same time ignoring there negative effects onto myself?
I feel i am full of great personal achievement, and with that all it takes is myself to fully grasp something translatable, ad something that can be channeled through passion.

I can feel it in this abstract memoir.
This progressional mind flow.
I have to go down this stream and to the very place i know i can control myself, but will the current keep me there for long until the tide changes and takes me back down the mountain to this feeling once again?

but then how can i be so predictive of these things when there may be any outcome?
do i look for the worst and presume it?
how can i presume an outcome anyway, who's to say my logic and myself is capable of it?

oh well, these are questions i can channel to the page, but whether or not the fellow cornflakes find this necessary look into the foundations of my own labrynth.

1 comment:

Corn on the Cobb said...

grammar is horrible in some instances, but i think that is just part of what it is. it's my mind flow, my translation. Not neceassrily how i think but the words that come out in any way they do.
hahahaha make sense much?
not likely.

bahhh! ignore.,