cornflake's 6b-a1

congratulations to mr sean penn for his second oscar. you gave a magnificent performance in "milk" as harvey and you deserved it. but the best moment of the night was the speech given by dustin lance black who wrote "milk" 's screenplay. in case you missed the oscars, here it is :

"i heard the story of harvey milk and it gave me hope. it gave me hope to live my life openly as who i am, and that one day i could even fall in love and get married ...

if harvey hadn't been taken from us 30 years ago, i think he would want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches, or by their governments, or by their families, that you ARE beautiful, wonderful creatures of value, and that no matter what anyone tells you, god DOES love you."

i was just about moved to tears by these words. being a young bisexual person hearing these words has a profound effect.

as is the norm in english literature, today, we ended up talking about nothing to do with our text. somehow we got onto the topic of gay marriage. the four of us got every into it (with 2 of us accidentally coming out in the process) and i realised something. 2 of the people in our discussion come from very religious families who both said that they'd kill themselves before admitting to their family if they were gay. we know definitely that they aren't, and it felt good that they didn't run screaming from my friend and i after our announcement. they aren't the products you'd expect coming from such upbringings. sorry for buying into stereotypes, but it helps to believe them sometimes if you think you'll be persecuted by them.

so, it's not just the homo-loving commie son-of-a-guns that think gays, lesos and bis are ok. we've finally reached a point where what we're taught by our surroundings doesn't always influence exactly how we think. and i'm so grateful. i know i've still got highly conservative grandparents that won't be too thrilled if i bring a girl round on christmas for a family barbie, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

so if this mindset exists, why is the ultimate level of commitment a homosexual couple in western australia can attain is to be in a de facto relationship? if you're really desperate, you can go to victoria and enter into a civil union which is a fancy way of pretending that the powers that be are giving you the same rights of a heterosexual couple by letting you have a ceremony but if you break up you're up shit creek without a paddle.

people have said "we've got nothing against gay couples. you can live together, we don't mind. you just can't get married. it's no big deal."  if it's not big deal, i'd love to see the stink that would get kicked up if someone suggested outlawing straight marriage. if it's no big deal as they tell us, why do they bother to go through with it? it'd be so much simpler if no one was allowed to get married.

i don't give a fuck what how you try and justify it - not allowing gay and lesbian couples to get married is discrimination, and discrimination is wrong. it's fucking illegal. you can't fire someone because they're chinese. you can't have a different entrance for a shop for aboriginals. but you can outlaw a man marrying another man and a woman marrying another woman. is it just me or is this not making sense??

legislation to overturn over 100 anti-same-sex couple laws will be introduced into parliament in may. fingers and toes.

i leave you with 2 quotes :

"i don't want to live in a country that takes away my right to marry who i love if they happen to have the same junk as me."

"marriage is about love, not gender."

The World is Insane

The world is insane. All of you. And I can prove it.

Now you see anyone can argue that they are perfectly sane and you can also argue that insane people think that they're sane. But then if you think you're insane you must be sane. So therefore insanity is from a different point of view. That is flawed (how do you know the person defining sanity is sane? They think they're sane but like I said, that's a symptom of insanity) and not my arguement at all.

Now it all depends on how you define insanity. Now if you define it as something that is beyond normal to the extremes then congratulations! We've got the basis for my arguement. (No I'm not saying that if you like getting weird looks is the reason why you're insane.) OK you see what is "normal" is a subjective concept and is constantly changing so it's hard to define at any given point in time. Because this is so unreliable as somewhere to stand or put as a base for an arguement we have to find some given definites. What is definite about everything in the world? What do we all share as a complete and total definite throughout all of time? The core scientific principles about biology that's what. We may evolve and change as the millenia progress and the very earth itself terraforms into an alien landscape but there will always be the basic principles of life: Eat, Drink, Mate. This is all animals do. We survive. Now, because we've determined that the bare necessities of survival are the only universally normal traits amongst humans (let alone any other animal) we can then argue that any action outside of these parameters are not normal at all. Some of our actions lead to our survival but are ultimately superficial. OK for example: You drive around a car. Sure it gets you places (even to get food) but if you tried hunting in it then you'd scare away your prey. And the only reason why you don't hunt in a car is because someone else has made a farm far far away from you that grows a bunch of food... far away from you. You think a car is convenience when really it's only convenient because you made something more complicated. Plus, cars kill people and destroy the environment and therefore are detrimental to the species. Survival has paradoxically been hindered and helped by this invention. Now let's move onto something else. Language. It's nice, we get to talk to each other in such an infinitely complex manner with almost endless words that none of us will ever completely know or understand and just ignore spelling completely. When you think about it... we don't need it to survive. All it does is give us fun or give us pain. People can live in complete silence and don't need communication to survive and therefore as a species it's a completely abnormal trait.

So building cities, driving cars and even talking or coming up with multiple philosophies are completely abnormal ideas which have no real benefit to an animal. The very fact that I can explain this to you or the fact that you understand it is complete madness. Therefore the world is completely and utterly insane because we've turned hunting and gathering into fine art, skyscrapers and quantum physics.

Of course that's from a completely non-religious point of view as to why the entire world is insane. (So being scientific and saying that religion is insane is not really any improvement at all.) So therefore the only sane course of action is to become religious because at least then from your point of view you can argue that you're completely (with a few exceptions) sane. Unless of course you're a scientologist in which case you're the crazy of the crazy. Now it get's a bit more dificult to argue from a religious point of view that everyone is crazy but it's very very easy to argue that everyone besides you is crazy. Which... is unfortunately how terrorists can do what they do. But like I said... they're completely bonkers so we don't care about their false reasons just the fact that they're making a lot of mess.

OK I argued that we're all crazy on the arguement that anything completely out of the norm is madness. Now let's see if I can try to argue that we're all crazy on the arguement that the majority of thought is sanity instead. (The "normal" way to define insanity) It's quite simple. Now replace the idea of what's fundamentally normal as a species with what you consider fundamentally normal in a culture or society. Now go to a country on the other side of the world and compare the two. Cultures will vary wildly and vastly amongst continents let alone the entire world so it's quite hard to find what is the majority of thinking on a worldwide scale. There isn't a majority at all because no culture encompasses over %50 of the population and even the largest populated countries in the world have a massive amount of subcultures and different ideas within itself. Let's leave that alone for a bit and go to Germany 1939 for example. (GODWIN'S LAW!) OK if you're a nazi and you see someone beating up a Jew this seems like a perfectly acceptable idea to you because that's the majority of what the country (that isn't in prison) thinks is right. Now if you're a Jew/non-german/someone from today then you'd think this was completely unnaceptable and fail to comprehend how they could think that a Jew is not even human. We think that they're intolerant and uneducated but they thought the same thing about previous cultures. So we're back to the fact that nothing is constant in society. One day our beliefs as to what is right or even socially acceptable will one day become outdated, then archaic. You cannot say that you're right because you know that you will inevitably be proven wrong. Scientific theories seemed incredibly sound but have been disproven by something that was in turn disproven itself. The only difference is one day we will reach a point where we have proven everything we can whereas society will never find somewhere to stop. So there is no one single line of thought or general idea of thinking that you can rely upon to put as a basis for sanity and so comparing you to someone from 50 or 100 or 1000 years ago/from now you are as insane to them as they are to you. Insanity is a relative concept and relatively speaking we're all one fry short of a happy meal.

Goob goob ba dooba woop.

I hope you've enjoyed me explaining to you why we're ALL (including me) completely insane. Thankfully some are just more insane than others. Now let's all go drool over some of those things we call bricks that have been made by the magic of fire. Then we can all put lampshades on our heads and throw pens at people in the street.

P.S. Of course if you just try to argue that insanity is merely a dysfunction in the brains ability to process due to a chemical inbalance or misfiring neurons that make you see things that aren't there then you can argue that the world is indeed quite sane. But then some psychological disorders would have to be excluded from the category of insanity.

How Beloved Amongst Friends I Really am...

Hey hey kiddies! In keeping up with the recent blogging trend in this blog I'm going to be posting a blog all about DEATH! (Deeeeaaatthhh! Deeeaaatthhh!) And also, to prove TTTSNB's latest blog about Tool's brilliant song Vicarious (to which I am listening to right now) I am going to post a blog that will all amuse you all! And it's all going to be about me dying!

OK. We (bloggers) all remember (except for half of us) when I used to date a certain lady at our school... I since then have not dated anyone who I see 5 times a day ever again (partially because those girls all said "no"...) but while dating this WONDERFUL AND LOVELY LADY (Who definitely is not at all manly) she decided to show her enormous amount of affection to me by writing me a list... a list of 100 ways to kill me.... while we were still dating... yay! I'm just SO LOVED AREN'T I!? (AND NOT AT ALL BITTER! :P Nah I'm kidding it was funny.) So here it is! (Please note, this is a blog about the list not my past relationships... comment on how funny the list is! I have admin powers I can kill you with lightning!)

---

Note: No offence is meant with this document; it is merely a joke and a joke only.
We apologise for any offence caused and are not liable for damages.

1. Stab/Impale him
2. Shoot him
3. Asphyxiate him
4. Club/Crush/Giant Mallet him
5. Break everyone bone in his body except his skull and spine and leave him in a vulture infested desert.
6. Strap him to a chair and allow Travis to poke his neck
7. Strap him to a chair and allow Travis to tickle him
8. Bury/entomb him
9. Embalm him
10. Slit his throat
11. Slit all of his arteries and leave in a room full of vampires
12. Put him in a wood-chipper
13. Lock him in a box and put that box in the boot of a car. Put that car into a car crusher.
14. Force alcohol into him until hes drunk then at night, put him on to the middle of the road and tell him to run towards the bright lights.
15. Burn him
16. Drown him
17. Pump him full of caffeine and strap him loosely into a chair that zaps you if you attempt to move.
18. Put him in an oven. Lock the oven
19. Poison him.
20. In a helicopter, light a ball-like bomb with a short wick. Throw it to him down on the ground and tell him to catch.
21. Strap him to a chair naked, pump him full of viagra and attach him to a machine that zaps you if you have an erection. Play hardcore porn to him.
22. Strap him to a chair in a mirror room. Tie a few flowers onto him. Let in a bee. Then throw in a hive.
23. Tie him up, cover him in honey and float him in the middle of a lake on a hot summer's night.
24. Hang him.
25. Push him off a high place.
26. Pump him full of cholestrol.
27. Run him over with some form of vehicle.
28. Strap him in a room. Fill the room with feathers.
29. Chloroform him. Place him in a box. Send the box to your favourite cannibal with a label that says “Happy Birthday!”
30. Tie him up and hang him from the ceiling so that from his feet are submerged in water infested by flesh eating bacteria.
31. Pump him absolutely full of water and food, put him in an in-escapable dungeon waist-high full of Candiru infested water.
32. Put him in a paper bag and leave him in the pirahna section of the amazon river.
33. Send him up to space and leave him on the moon with no space suit.
34. Freeze him.
35. Poke his eyes out and tell him to follow you out of a maze of barbed wire.
36. Strip him naked, poke out his eyes, put a t-shirt supporting Islam on him and send him running into the Vatican city.
37. Tie him up. Lock him in a small room. Play loud dance or heavy metal music at 150 decibels for 24 hours a day for a week. Place him in a guillotine operated by an axe murderer. Call the axe murderer on his cell phone.Tell him all he has to is to tell the axe murderer operating the guillotine what the axe murderer's ring tone was.
38. Tie him up and push him down a manhole.
39. Lock him naked in a round metal bin and roll him down Mount Everest.
40. Get Josh to shave him completely. Lock him in a room. Tell him all he has to do is use a hair to open the lock before the room's roof falls down in exactly five minutes.
41. Leave him in an in-escapable broken elevator with George Bush. Forever.
42. Completely cover him in exactly 666 layers of Glad Wrap™ .
43. Leave him in the middle of an in-escapable mirror maze. Have ravid wolves come at him from one direction and a serial rapist from the other.
44. Cut off his arms and legs. Leave him in a room at the end furthest from the door. Tell him he can leave if he wants because the room will collapse in exactly two minutes.
45. Remove his organs. Without anaesthetic.
46. Chloroform him and while he is out cold, put him in the middle of a 42 terralitre cube of cooling red Jello. Cool the Jello until it is solid.
47. Cover him in meat sauce and leave him in an in-escapable flat 200sqm field. Release the hounds.
48. Leave in the middle of a room full of compacted brussel sprouts. Tell him to eat his way out.
49. Make him the next Santa. Take away his elves and reindeer and replace them with clones of Starcevich. Crush his sleigh.
50. Whip him.
51. Tie his head and each of his limbs to a 5 different horses. Throw a firecracker in the midst of them.
52. Dryclean him. Repeatedly. Until he dies.
53. Stand him up and tie him to a dead body. Lock him in a cellar with the body. Make him dance with the dead until the day he dies.
54. Plastic surgery him; Michael Jackson style with the exception od darkening not whitening him.
55. Strap him down and shove an unbent clothes hanger up his nose. Slowly.
56. Place his head in the middle of one hundred cell phones; all calling each other.
57. Cryogenically freeze him, then cut out shamrock shaped pieces of his body, dye them green, and use as lapel pins for St. Patrick's Day.
58. Sew his lips to his rectum.
59. Tie him up like a piñata and have small Mexican children beat him to death.
60. Eject him into space and leave him near a black hole.
61. Tie him under a huge magnifying glass on a real sunny day
62. Test his tensile strength.
63. Use him as the test subject in a pain threshold study.
64. Strap him naked to a board and using a cotton tip or glass rod, slowly dab Sulfuric Acid on to his skin.
65. Submerge him in a bath tub. Drop a hairdryer still connected to power in with him.
66. Throw him into a Marilyn Manson concert wearing a fluro green T-shirt that says 'Have a nice day'.
67. Dress him up as a seal, send him to Canada and hope that he's one of the million that are killed for their furs.
68. Dump him into the crater of an active volcano. If the magma doesnt kill him, the fall will.
69. Death by Snu-Snu.
70. Use him as evidence to prove that the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s2 on Earth.
71. Poke him in the belly. With an wooden stake. See if he laughs like the Doughnut Man.
72. Strap him to a board and throw needles at him.
73. Strap him to a wall and “accidently” run into him with scissors. Multiple times.
74. Get a very large person to sit on him.
75. Cement his feet into large blocks. Throw him into a well.
76. Use him as a car crash dummy.
77. Lie him across two power lines.
78. Force him to clean up nuclear waste. Without a suit.
79. Lock him in a drum full of acetone.
80. Poke out his eyes and send him into an inner city New York school wearing a shirt that says “What's up my nigger?”
81. Tie a kite to him and leave in the middle of a cornfield during a thunder storm.
82. Use him as an electrode.
83. Strap him to a board. Open him up and put a rat in his stomach. Sew him up and leave him in the sauna.
84. Sign his name at the bottom of a letter with the words “bomb”, “I”, “you”, “Parliament House” and “die” in it and send it to John Howard.
85. Place him in a box and send the box to your favourite taxidermist.
86. Drug him and sell him to a gay brothel in Amsterdam.
87. Use his blood as ink in a reprinting of the fifth Harry Potter book.
88. Have Dr Nick perform a lobotomy on him.
89. Strip him naked and lock him in a room with several oversexed gorillas.
90. Put him through an Elemental Analyzer Isotopic Ratio Mass Spectrometer.
91. Strap him into a tanning box, lock him in and turn up to maximum.
92. Have thousands of small monkeys beat him to death with spoons.
93. Whip him, whip him good.
94. Dress him in red, dip him in red paint, break his legs then drop him into the middle of Madrid's annual running of the bulls.
95. Tie him up, suspend him with a rope and get Danny Green to use his genital area as a speed punching target.
96. Strap him to a board and force him to lick poisonous frogs.
97. Strip him naked and throw him into the nearest kindergarten at parent pick up time.
98. Use him as kebab meat.
99. Tie a cheese wire around his neck and secure the cheese wire to the top of a tall building. Glue his hands to his head and push him off the building so it appears that he has pulled his own head off.
100. Let him die of old age.

---

I like way 100 :) Please let me die of 100... or 69! :D I want to die of way 69. oh yeah.

vicariously

someone post another blog!

im sick of reading the same shit every time i check to see if anyones posted anything new.

come on, your lifes cant be that boring, can they???

well mine is. i cant think of anything to post other than this.

well.......... no. theres nothing i want to say right now. iv already been through my angry explosion stage of blogging for now. and my emo depressive stage. so i will say no more on the subject.

has anyone heard the song vicarious by tool???

its a fucking awsome song. its about our fixation with tragedy and all the shit thats shown on the news and tv. give it a listen sometime. lyrics are as follows:


Eye on the the TV, 'Cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavor it happens to be, like...
"Killed by the husband"
"Drowned by the ocean"
"Shot by his own son"
"She used a poison in his tea...Then she kissed him goodbye"
That's my kind of story, It's no fun 'til someone dies

Don't look at me like I am a monster
Frown out your one face But with the other
Stare like a junkie Into the TV
Stare like a zombie, While the mother holds her child
Watches them die, Hands to the sky crying, "Why, oh why?"

Cause I need to watch things die... from a distance
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, Don't lie

Why can't we just admit it? Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
Will write as the story's told
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing

I need to watch things die... from a good safe distance
Vicariously I live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same, so...

Why can't we just admit it?

Blood like rain come down
Drum on grave and ground

Part vampire Part warrior
Carnivore and Voyeur
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle

La, la, la, la, la, la-la-lie (x4)

Credulous at best, Your desire to believe in Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out your hippy haze, And give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again
The universe is hostile, so impersonal
Devour to survive... so it is, so it's always been

We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire

Vicariously I, Live while the whole world dies, Much better you than I


Brilliant. and true. we all go about our meager existance trying to make a good life for ourselves. but we need to watch the pain and suffering of others. it makes us feel more accomplished. it makes us feel safe. that disjointed way that we can gladly watch people die in fires, floods, terrorist attacks, murders and car crashes, is only so we can go "dam, sure am glad im not them". we need the agony of others to feed our own lives and make us feel more at ease. tragedy, its like blood to a vampire.

i saw an example of this the other day on tv. in england, apparently a 13 year old kid is claiming to be the father of this new born girl. so of course everyones all up in arms about it. while secretly every parent in the country is of course thinking "man im glad thats not my kid". anyway, this news company has offered the kid a big heap of money if he will undergo a DNA test to show if he is the kids dad..... all of this on live tv of course. it just sickens me the length that people will go to exploit a situation like this. and people always say that this is wrong, and that shouldnt be, but secretly everyone wants to watch. everybody wants to see if this kid really is a fucking dad, or just a liar. exploitation. peace of mind. the continued ease of our own existence. human is a fucked up animal. no other creature aside from us will willingly sit down and watch every animal species, including our own, die.

horay for tool for pointing out what every person is doing!

you all feel the same, don't lie.

cornflake's fourth blog

3 years gone. fuck. funny how time goes so fast when you wish you had the capacity to stop and maybe take a polaroid or some form of proof that life was once this good and maybe can be again, and then there are the times when its pace seems to be a punishment for all the good times you had that you didn't really deserve. it's 12:30am on 10th february now.  listening to "body in a box" by city in colour. it's about exactly what it sounds like. it's not soppy. just a guitar and harmonica. got a great line - "it seems like a man's best party only happens when he dies". very true. ain't that the great cosmic joke? the best party you'll have will make you the guest of honour and have everyone talking about what a top person you are, and there's no way you can go. and what's more, this party's gonna continue at least once every year until everyone who attended the original is having their own parties in their honour. fuck. going for a walk.

brooding insanity expodes in an orgy of invertebrate sex

well today has been even better than yesterday!!!

has anyone ever had someone come up and ask if they can just talk for a bit??? yea??? well generally you'd humour the person. well thats what i'd do. cause usually when someone comes up and asks if they can just talk for a bit its because they've got something bothering them or just want a break from the oppressions of reality. maybe their interested in how your doing. maybe they want to talk because it will make them feel better, at least momentarily. and if the person who came up to you happened to be one of your closests friends??? then most people would probably say yes, lets just talk for a bit about whats on your mind.

today i had someone say no to me. as you can guess lately hasnt exactly been the best of times in my life. and the one person i thought i could depend on just turned around and basically said no, im not interested in why you've been all depressed and shit lately. then continued talking to another person as if nothing has happened. but she was laughing as she said no, so i assumed it was like a joke or something, so i was like haha, ok seriously can i just talk to you for a bit. no. more laughter. im not laughing any more. ok now, seriously... and what do you think the answer is??? no. no no no no no no no no no no no no NO FUCKING GOD DAMNED NO!!!

one of my best friends, the person i trust and care about above all others, basically slapped me in the face and told me to fuck off. i tried texting her the night before as well. asking if i could talk for a bit cause i was feeling down. no reply. didnt even mention it at school today. not so much as a "sorry, i was out of credit." see, cornflake??? hoping for something only makes it hurt more when it comes crashing down.

and it also proves my many theories. that everyone is ignoring me. that i am being shut out. dammit, i cant concentrate, i keep hearing this music coming from my room, like my phone is going off, but every time i go check, theres nothing there. i really am going insane. work was insane tonight. some dude was having a go at the crew cause apparently we were standing around doing nothing while he was sitting in his car waiting for a burger. i threw his food in his face and got sauce all over the seats of his car. then one of my friends who i was working with knocked all the money from my till on the floor and slammed me with the fridge door. i punched him in the stomach. lifted him clear off the floor. i felt bad afterwards, but he took it in his stride.

yes, im going crazy. i admit it. i dont care any more. fuck sanity. fuck the free world. fuck you. i dont give a shit any more. whats the point. the only thing i had going for me now doesnt care whats wrong with me or wether i live or die. assuming she ever did. i like to think she did. i like to think she still does. i know she doesnt. i personally think she has moved on to said person. and yes, said person, it is you. you were standing next to her when she said no. you have always been next to her. i think she loves you. i think you love her. i said i was cool if you continued stealing her attention, but you win, you called my bluff, i do care. i cant help how i feel about someone, and i cant help if you happen to be more interesting than me.

and in typing all this, i have finally realised my greatest fear. that the one i love, who once said she loved me back, might move on to someone more deserving. the thought paralyzes me. literally im shaking and i feel like im gonna burst into tears. this thought fills me with absolute dread and terror. i know she'll be better off with someone more deserving, but just for once i want to be selfish. is that so much to ask??? for once to have something perfect and not want the rest of the world to look upon it with eyes full of greed and contempt???

and most of all pity. i despise pity. today i saw pity being handed on to me. the thought of it fills me with resentment. FUCK THIS MUSIC, ITS STILL PLAYING AND EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND IT DISSAPPEARS!!!

sometimes i wish i could just dissappear. bilby, i know you can read this as im typing it, and my msn keeps saying i cant message you, so message me or something. hurry! my mind is slipping further and further into despair. im waiting. come on. is it weird to ride your bike through a thunder storm in the hopes that you'l get struck by lightning??? or ride your bike in front of speeding cars in the hopes of getting hit??? or swearing and yelling at your manager in the hopes of getting fired???

maybe. maybe not. i still hear music i know isnt their. that in itself should be evidence enough of my deteriorating mental state. but its odly comforting. i guess the fact i know the music isnt real kinda makes me think that at least the rest of the world doesnt know im insane. they might after reading this though. going back over it i see might have been a little over the top. oh well. thats what has happened today. i just want to sleep now. at elast in my dreams everything goes just the way i want it to.

there is no solution

ultimately, what is the point in posting this blog??? why do i even bother posting blogs??? why does anybody??? i suppose we assume that somewhere in the world there are people who care what we have to say. we like to think our oppinions matter. they dont. not really. is my view on the american government going to change things for the better??? does my belief in angels, demons and the evil of humanity change all the bad stuff that is happening in the world??? no, no, no. people like to think that they can make a difference. they cant. one person by themselves has never been able to accomplish anything extraordinary. John Kennedy: great man. no denying he was a brilliant president. but he didnt get there by himself. he didnt single handedly rise to become one of the most powerful and influential people in history.

people need other people to help them climb there way up to the top. clawing like a living hive of human-shaped insects, all reaching for the sky. only the strongest, biggest and smartest insect rises up to become the queen of the hive. there cant be two queens. only the one. think of some other truly exceptional and powerful people. sauron wouldnt have become the scourge of middle earth if he hadnt had piggy backed off of morgoths power and strength. darth vader didnt grow to become the strongest jedi ever without the training of obi wan, mace windu, yoda, and all the other masters. V didnt liberate england from the government by himself: he had the whole of england supporting his revolution. Martin Luther King junior didnt start the downfall of segregation and racism by himself. sure, he was a visionary. he had ideas. he truly was a great man. but he had people helping him. especially his family. yet it was he who was the face of it all. it could just as easily been one of his brothers or sisters, but it was him. he was the strongest of the hive. he became the next queen.

i have a riddle for you all: what is the main defining differance between a king and his horse??? and no bull-shit answers like one has 4 legs and one has two, or one is the dominent species on the planet and one is just the king. the correct answer is INSTINCT. the king sits on top because he knows he belongs there. the horse carries his king into battle because he knows deep down that that is what his mission in life is: to be beneath his precious king. but what happens when the horse suddenly realises: im bigger, stronger, and faster than the king. people like horses more than some stuck up inbred with more money than them. what if i want to be the one on top for once??? the king can be my horse from now on. and thats how the world works. instinct tells us to get behind certain people because "its what my place in life is to do". we vote for barak obama because were just lowely citizens. he's the king. well, he will be with our support.

great, so we elect a king. now what??? we sit back and watch the world implode, thats what. im not saying obama's going to be a bad president. quite the opposite, i think he'll do brilliantly. but i think its wrong to appoint a single person as head of anything to be honest. because the single person we vote for brings with him a wide aray of other people. one president, off the top of my head, also insates a vice president, secretary of defence, sky marshal, lots of ministers, advisors, polititians, and god knows how many shit loads of others. and the bad thing is we only choose one person who then chooses about a hundred others.

whatever happened to the good old days of real kings and queens??? it was so much simpler back then. in those days, if you didnt like the king, you killed them. then the next in line steps up and takes his place. no fuss about voting, no electing new ministers and secretaries, none of that bullshit. and if this king didnt do a good job, you killed him. or very rarely the people stepped up and forced the king down, as evident with james I. we have unfortunately lost that power. if kevin rudd died tomorow, there would be a lot of fuss, hunting down of the killer, big funeral, big hoo-ha, then after 3 months of wasting the australian peoples time, we would have to go back and vote for a new prime minister. then he would have to shuffle everything around to make room for all HIS big ideas. worse still, if we didnt like this new prime minister, we cant just kill them and get it over with. killing wastes 3 months of time. the only true way to end it is to let the prime minister serve out his term, then vote for someone who might possibly be even worse. we dont care though, we just wanna get rid of ole whats-his-name prime minister there. then when the new one turns out to be worse, we gotta wait till HIS term is up again. man, what a drag.

back to my original pont, people cant rise up to power unless they have a load of people backing them. but once the person obtains power, the people lose their influence. the person in power no longer thinks they need any one else to help them on the way. they clawed to the top position in teh hive, now they can sit back and let the drones and workers carry out each little demeaning task while the queen eats, gets fat, and occasionally pops one out. the queens set for life. and, as with humans, no-one really thinks to do anything about the queens lazy behavior. they wait for her to die, then go and start a new hive with a new queen. if this queens the same as the previous, alright, il write an angry letter, then il let her die of old age! mwuhahaha!!!

unity is the only true power in the world these days. and it should remain the only power.

take my group of friends for example. none of us tries to act as the king. we co-exist in somewhat equal grips of power, wich for a high school student is pitifully little. but like government, occasionally things go wrong. sometimes one will be cast aside like nothing at all. someone new will rise up to take their place.

sorry, that sounds morbid, dark and unfair. i love all my friends. they are my one true family in this world. but sometimes i wonder if they see me in the same way. lately i have been thinking maybe not. one of my friends is now so obsessed with her boyfriend she spends all her time with him now. she didnt even say hi to me today. or anyone else for all i know. then theres my other friend who doesnt go to school anymore, so i hardly get to see her. and she might be moving back to sydney. so chances are il see her even less. another friend (well, more a slightly annoying assosciate who wont shut up about her boyfriend) is in the same boat as other friend with boyfriend. only he doesnt go to out school. so most of the day she sits away from us dreaming about him. well thats what i like to think anyway.

i just feel like everything good i once had in my life is slowly slipping away and i have no way to stop it. end of last year, i was a failure, sure, but i was happy. i had my friends, what more could i ask for??? now i harldy get to see 3 of them. thats not all though. one of my best friends, all she seems to do now is tell me how predictable and stupid i am. its getting annoying and i am starting to really hate her whenever she said stuff like that. wich is surprisingly often. but i feel bad for hating it, cause she is one of my best friends. another friend of mine seems to not want to tell me anything, despite the fact im usually one of the first she turns to for help when things get really bad. but she wont talk to me about anything bothering her. and im worried. and lately, especially today, whenever im around her, its like when you've just walked in to one of those conversations and had everyone stop talking and realise they were either talking about you, sharing an in-joke, or talking anout stuff they dont want others, or maybe just you, to hear.

another friend: its almost like a yo-yo. yesterday we were fine, talking and laughing like nothing at all. today......it was almost like i was being ignored. not on purpose, i hope not, but you know the feeling. and its also been one of those days were every joke was made at your expense. and i mean almost every single joke too. literally, like im not even half joking. maybe i just tuned in to the ones about me, or maybe not. but either or, it stung quite a bit. then theres this other friend i have. absolute legend, awsome person, but it just seems like everything and everyone's started revolving around said person. and they circle the person. and im on the outside. said person makes me feel very.......whats the word......threatened, i suppose??? said person is an awsome person, and people have good reason to like said person. but sometimes i long for the days were said person wasnt such a big part of our group. cause now its like im being replaced. in every sense of the word. i admit said person is a better all round human than i, but it hurt to realise that other people are starting to realise it too.

especially people who are important to me.

im not in the right headspace. i might delete this. i dont know. its weird. im lonely. maybe all this is just a subconcious cry for attention. i hope not. or im more pathetic than i thought. probably true. its all so confusing. everything is just sliding downhill and leaving me standing at the top. and the worst thing of all??? there is no solution. its not something i can just turn around and say, this isnt right, lets fix it up now. i feel bad for even thinking this way. its not like its happening on purpose. but what if it is??? what if its not all a deranged fantasy of mine??? thats delving intot he psychotic. but i realise it is psychotic. so obviously im not crazy. unless its only the truly insane who realise that they are. the truly insane who know their monsters, but go on anyway. well thats not the type of monster i imagine becoming. so ill keep it all bottled up, and il put on a happy face. and if anyone asks whats wrong, il be like, nothing im fine. because as long as you are on the surface, everyone assumes that you are. most dont read deeper than that. some do. and they will persist with asking whats up, but i wont tell. il retreat into myself and store it up. its the healthy thing to do for other people. i dont really like unburdening myself onto others. plus i'd be a hypocrite. so yea, thats what il do. gotta stay positive. and this, folks, makes my longest blog to date!!!