in-jokes are funny, arent they bilby??? especially ones dealing with certain discreet items i have given to you.
hehehe.
im going to have fun with this.
and it only took me 20 minutes to write about my day, so ner! your a slow typer.
i like to keep my posts relatively short because i realise no-one cares what i think. your still in denial is all. haha.
anyway i have decided that i am sith lord darth metaliccus, and my revenge is in the form of this post.
i have not had THAT much to drink tonight. only about 7 beers, half a bottle of jim beam, 2 vodka cruisers, and 3 iron brew vodka's that my cousin left when she went back home. hooooorrrraaaaayyyyy!
i have had a very trying day. one of my best friends spilt some news onto me that i really wasnt expecting.
i wont say cause i promised i wont. just understand i am very depressed as of now and i will probably carve up my hand tomorow morning at some ungodly hour.
not that there is a god, of course.
and if there is, i know your listening, and im coming for you!!!
i found a book on star wars episode 3: revenge of the sith. it was really fucking awsome! it was really dark compared to the movie, and it went really in depth, and in all honesty it is one of the best books iv read in a while. i really enjoyed it.
yes i know its star wars, and i dont care it was an awsome book. especially the last chapter. that really got to me. it was just so epic! well here it is now.
This is how it feels to be anakin skywalker, forever.
the first dawn of light in your universe brings pain. the light burns you. it will always burn you. part of you will always lie upon black glass sand beside a lake of fire whilst flames chew your flesh.
you can hear yourself breathing. it comes hard, and harsh, and it scrapes every nerve already raw, but you cannot stop it. you can never stop it. you cannot even slow it down.
you dont even have lungs anymore. mechanisms hardwired into your chest breathe for you. they will pump oxygen into you bloodstream forever.
lord vader, can you hear me?
and you cant, not in the way you once did. sensors in the shell that prisons your head trickle meaning directly into your brain.
you open your scorched-pale eyes, optic sensors integrate light and shadow into a hideous simulacrum of the world around you.
or perhaps the simulacrum is perfect, and it is the world that is hideous.
padmé? are you here? are you alright? you try yo say, but anotehr voice speaks for you, out from the vocabulator that serves you for burned away lips ang tongue and throat.
"padmé? are you here? are you alright?"
im very sorry lord vader. im afraid she died. it seems in your anger, you killed her
this burns hotter than the lava did.
"no......no, its not possible"
you love her, you will always love her. you could never will her death.
never.
but you remember....
you remember all of it.
you remember the dragon that you brought vader forth from your heart to slay. you remember the cold venom in vaders blood.
you remember the furnace of vaders fury, and the black hatred of seizing her throat to silence her lying mouth-
and there is one blazing moment in wich you finally understand that there was no dragon. there was no vader. there was only you.
anakin skywalker.
that it was you. all you.
you killed her.
you did it it.
only you.
you killed her.
you killed her because, finally, when you could have saved her, when you could have gona away with her, when you should have been thinking about her, you were thinking about yourself.
it is in this blazing moment that you finally understand the trap of the dark side, the final cruelty of the sith.
because now your self is all you will ever have.
and you rage and you scream and reach through the force to crush the shadow who has destroyed you, but you are so far less now than you were, you are more than half machine, you are like a painter gone blind, a composer gone deaf, you can remember were the power was but the power you can touch is only a memory, and so with all your world destroying fury it is only droids around you that implode, and equipment, and the table on wich you were strapped shatters, and in the end, you cannot touch the shadow.
in the end, you dont even want to.
in the end, the shadow is all you have left.
because the shadow understands you, the shadow forgives you, the shadow gathers you unto itself-
and within you furnace heart, you burn in your own flame.
this is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker.
Forever...
very deep and i love it. it chills me with the emotion and depth of anakins pain. good god i think im coming...
no but seriously check it out sometime.
anywho, thats all for me, and for the record i hate recieving presents as well.
i agree, shalow and padantic.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
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1 comment:
SLOW typer? dude i wrote 7 pages! (the bits editing on afterwards) in only an hour and a half! AND I was talking to people on msn ect...
Thankyou for not mentioning that presents nature... and remember that if u do i have admin powers and can edit whatever posts I want :P anyhooo...
that books sounds awesome! very dark indeed :) hey was i the only one who thought Star Wars 3 was actually better than 1 & 2? I enjoyed number 3...
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