20 Minutes is not enough

10:45

OK! Just so you know it doesn't take me 20 minutes to write a blog Thing that should not be... 20 minutes isn't nearly enough to do that sort of thing! Apparently you and I disagree about a lot of things that you think only take 20 minutes (Hehehe ooooh he's so going to point out the lack of validity in that...) so I'm just going to time how long I take to blog... and blog I shall! You think you're the only one keeping this thing together? Well... OK you're kinda right but no one blogs as much as you! I posted 10 posts in a month on my other blog (http://www.thewindowofbilby.blogspot.com/ woo! shameless self promotion!) but I am kinda glad that someone (cornflake.... brooklyn.... all those other people I've invited but haven't joined... he's the only one who asked to be in it!) is actually taking this seriously and blogging... so woo! A clap for the thing that should not be... I am far too cruel to you sometimes let's clap some more.... (hehehe big head)

Well food is the secret weakness of all men... not just you. There's another weakness we all share but most girls aren't brave enough to tempt us with that in public... (Why the hell not? COME ON! We don't give a damn about going to buy new shoes with us! Give us an insentive to follow you around! Although it'll probably backfire and we'll just say "uhh... give me a moment I need to... sit down.... cross legged....")

Anyhoo, OK! I don't really write very long blogs on this blog (even though I've mentioned I do write bigs ones every now and then) so someone thinks they actually write long ones... no! wrong... they're not 3 pages long they aren't that big! So let's talk about something shall we?

Picnics! They are very nice things to do... even if they are just in your backyard on plastic chairs overlooking the sea (I was planning on a park but my feet don't like moving....) and all you've got to eat sandwich wise is jam and cheese... not at the same time but the thought of that actually crossed my mind at some time. I decided that it's probably not for the best if I decided to be bold and try jam on cheese.... (cheddar) it might cause the person I was with to lose her appetite. Now you think english/canadian accents are cute (Guys like girls from all countries! Especially countries that have never heard of the terrible terrible things those guys do in their spare time.... you know what I'm talking about thing that should not be! Eyes aren't the only red things... OK that was incredibly suggestive and I didn't actually have anything in specific to imply so let your own dirty mind twist that into whatever you didn't want to think about! THINK ABOUT IT!) well I think that scottish accents are far more appealing... I always have :P Scottish accents (the ones you can understand that is) are made of pure awesome and endless fun listening to some cute girl talk about cute things with a cute accent especially when they think that you are cute... :) woo! OK does this count as personal? I'm talking about picnics with a very special someone (who anyone who reads this blog should actually know.... woo! yeah 6 months and counting!)

IN JOKE TIME!

no... no I haven't used your present....

MAY NO ONE EVER... EVER mention what that in joke was about! EVER! (OK not exactly "joke" but you know... in... inny thingy that you don't need to know about but certain people reading this would want to know... possibly...) I shall hunt you down....

Clocks. Clocks are nice :) I have a clock that's shaped like a TV and it is an adorably cute little present that helps me know what time it is when I am in doubt of the clock right in front of me! (Which I normally have one because my house is filled with them.... and the one on the computer keeps changing so I went to bed at 1am when I thought it was only midnight....) but how do I top a little shiny TV shaped clock? My lovely scottish girl already has a watch! But who knows how long that'll last? (She is like an X-men.... watches stop working after a week due to constant contact with her... she's electric baby! yeeeaaaahhh! Feel the tingling sensation! Mmm-mm! Anyhoo... sorry to have broken your mind children... I just get excited when talking about that :P) basically...

Christmas is a time of fear....

I don't get people presents! I never have... I've never had the chance really. Don't normally see my friends over the long holidays and they never get me anything so I never expect to give anything back... I don't expect presents and I don't even really want them that much... I want one from my parents just as a nice little bonus to the free BBQ sausages I get on that day... that and the present/s make up for the fact I need to see my annoying little cousins who once saw Peter Pan on video when they were very little and decided to take the "never grow up" philosophy very very seriously... they are constantly annoying and act like little children... well... they are little children and have always been that way for as long as I remember but you'd think they'd be slightly older acting little children right? Oh well... I like the one who doesn't talk... she just sits there smiling and not talking... unfortunately she doesn't look creepy when she does it because that would be very cool! But anyhoo, I am very indifferent to getting presents (Yeah... hoorah for Grace! You rock girl!) and basically everytime my girlfriend asks me what I want I go "I want you with a little red ribbon on your head" and she goes "Awwww! That's so cute! But no seriously what do you want?" and I go "A hug" "You get hugs anyway" "and a kiss" "you get that too anyway!" ".... I want extra ones..." and it goes on like that until she figures out that Apocalyptica is currently one of my favourite bands that I am lacking in CD's of so has most likely decided to go out and get me their album Cult or Inquisition symphony... failing that (Which she most likely will because stupid CD stores decide that good music isn't popular enough to be in stores!) she's going to get me Metallica... which she can't fail at because that is popular enough to always have it's own column of CD's stacked tightly together so no one can help but notice it's assorted bands then METALLICA then other random bands... But yeah... I don't mind if no one gets me a gift because I always have such a dificult time coming up with one I really want... they ask me what I want and I go "I have to get back to you... I have to think of something then convince myself I want it just so you can buy it for me for money you could've spent on something else" (Only... not verbatim)

But now... now someone actually expects ME to get them a gift! What? I don't even have a job! And the only place I ever worked at was the place she works at now and she wants to quit because she got paid more serving bread to people! And I worked there for 5/6 hours! Yeah... I've only ever had one job in a place I don't know my way round in, I refuse to ever go into again (yeah don't ask... I'm uncomfortable around large places where I have nothing to do besides look very very weird...)

11:13 Half an hour and I've already typed all that... meh....

I have $38 in my bank account... a bank account I don't know the details to! So I'm just a little bit away from actually having a spare $38 to spend.... the unfortunate thing about this is the global economic crisis has made this once wonderful and bountiful $38.... more like $24.... or.... some other number. I'm not sure! All I know is it's not worth as much and I wish it was worth more so I could shower people in chocolate... because then they'd completely overlook the fact that I didn't actually buy them a proper gift I just threw sugar and cocoa at them! BAAHHH! SUGAR! Another unfortunate thing is... this person also doesn't want to tell me what they want... (OK I understand your frustration thing that should not be... curse you Grace! Want something!... Wait... that's very ironic because I was saying I didn't want anything in particular! Curse! Curse you irony!) so the fact that I've known them for a year and a half is meant to mean that I can instantly see into their heads and figure out what they want?

OK I took a short break so take off 5 minutes from my final time to find out how long I've been typing.

I'm expected to know things!? *hyperventilates* I know she likes books but I don't know which ones she doesn't already have... She likes cheese but I don't really think cheese counts as a christmas present... and if it was flashy enough it'd probably be expensive. I don't know what she wants! The world needs to be a lot less materialistic and less expecting... like me... that way I get to keep whatever little money I have left and you're all happy with the hugs I give you as presents! My presence is a present! I know that sounds very vain but some people quite enjoy having me around...

Awww... I don't feel like I've said that much and I've pretty much run out of things to say! Grr...

Less than a month to find a christmas present... less than a month to think of it and buy it... OK this is the point where I mention that I am not comfortable around shops at all... OK I remember once someone wanted to take me with a bunch of people (girls... yes girls are people too guys...) and it was like "Oh so you don't like me at all and you secretly like to torture me by forcing me to do things now?" Nah it wasn't that dramatic it was more like *sad face* :( but yeah... I don't like shopping! If I want a CD I quickly walk in, find it as soon as I can and leave... JB-hi-fi is the closest I get to being comfortable... something about being surrounded by hundreds of heavy metal/alternative hard rock albums with bizarre and dark looking covers makes me feel at ease.... Alternative thrash metal is very relaxing... I can fall asleep to Rammstein and Disturbed.... but I use them in the car to keep my mother awake when she's driving me home at night... woo!

You want to know why? I feel so horrified. I let my innocence die. Want to know why I can't be pacified?

Then some other words... You're no immortal I won't let them deify you! They view you as the new messiah!

Anyhoo... It's relaxing to be surrounded by the familiar appearance of Metallica's St. Anger CD's and The Offspring's Greatest Hits, POD's When Angels and Serpent's Dance and then some other bands which I don't remember the names of.... but it's still uncomfortable because I'm surrounded by people and noise and I'm in a shop! Which freaks me out unless I'm with someone I know... and even then it's not the best thing to keep me relaxed... it can be freezing and I'll be taking off my jacket because I start to burn up... As soon as I have my CD's and I'm waiting in the line to pay for them I start to get uncomfortable... so I hate shopping and this means I'm really not liking the fact that I need to go out to some unfamiliar shop in the middle of a huge crowd of busy christmas shoppers to find something that I'm not sure what it is yet and wander around and wait in lines and talk to people I've never met... yes, I am incredibly dysfunctional and I'm starting to like Brooklyn's ideals more and more now... socialism! woo! Down with capitalism and having to go to shops and busy crowds! This is why I don't have a job... because I rarely ever get the courage to go look for one let alone actually try to apply for one... as soon as I find any excuse out of it I am not doing it! I have an application for Red Rooster or Chicken Treat or KFC or... in fact I don't even know where I was applying to but I was! Anyhoo, as soon as anything on it wasn't super obviously clear or I wasn't entirely sure what my response was (like... what hours I was free) then I put it to the side and have only recently discovered it when I got rid of all the 30 tonnes of school work and stuff and songs I've been writing and books I've been reading that I have piled up next to my reclining chair (That reclines! Whoa! Like lying down while sitting!) and I took a short look at it... and reburied it... I'll speak about my two foot tall (I measure it) mountain of schoolwork and exercise books I organised into one pile in my room for later sorting through to find what goes into the recycling and what stays... but back to the job thing... my idea of a perfect job...

...is blockbuster video...

not just any blockbuster video but the one near the rhino carwash near the small woolworths near that park... you know... the one that doesn't exist anymore? Yeah... I once went in there to get DVD's for my birthday party (I got caddyshack and shaun of the dead! woo!) because Video Ezy for the first time (*cough* no Dr Strange love *cough* or Elephant man but strangely enough Metropolis?) had failed me in not having something I wanted!... Something mainstream contemporary that I wanted that is... besides the occasional Arnold Swarztgahvbneggar movie (that's how you really spell his name!). Well I go into blockbuster and instantly realise that... this is the worst video store... of all time! It's... so bad! The DVD's were packed with the covers outwards instead of the spine (like a bookstore instead of a library...) and even then not all of the shelves were completely covered! And there was a very very big window covering most of the wall so a lot of those covers were faded due to the sunlight and I couldn't even find The Matrix Trilogy! What a selection! I did find the asian cinema in a basket down the bottom of a shelve in the corner though... I was happy that it existed which was a shock when considering what was around me... another thing that struck me was that there was only one other person who came through that door in the entire time I was there! This was an unwanted, unnatractive and pathetic video store with very high prices....

...I wanted to work there... I had to work there! I inquired if they had any jobs going and they said they had recently hired someone but I should hand in my resume and they'd consider me for the future so I go home and work on my resume... my... really sucky one... with nothing actually on it and big font just so it takes up a page (I have since learnt how to write a resume!) and I unfortunately never got round to handing it in because they closed down... you see the reasons why I wanted to work there was because I would be surrounded by movies (I like movies, I want to be a film director/writer) so it's nice, I get paid so it's nice, there's no one around which is nice and relaxing... these reasons why it's perfect for me to work there... is also the perfect reason why it would close down... and the other one nearby close down... there are still blockbuster video stores out there! But they are far away and more popular... grr... oh well... if I get paid by working at a library I'd love to do that :) It'd be nice... I'd be surrounded by books and everyone is quiet... :D

well yes... anyhoo, I am jobless, I am running out of money and will become bankrupt within the next few months if I keep this up (I bought tim tams for the picnic! And no one ate any!?) so yeah... oh well....

The make donations to the Save the Bilby foundation simply email me your bankaccount details at the following address.... nah just kidding. OK!

And speaking of weird/heavy metal bands (look up!) I have started listening to Opeth... again... yeah they are very interesting but their incredibly long songs (Over 10 minutes normally...) made me kinda bored at some point in time so I just avoided listening to them for other, shorter songs... To Bid you Farewell is over 10 minutes long and is kinda slow which is the song I probably got annoyed at... oh well... but yeah, after listening to Tool's 7-9 minute long songs (and even the really long ones of 11 minutes like Wings Prt 2 (11 minutes! Woo!) and some listening to Metallica's 6-9 minute long songs (Woo! "Creeping death" to "And Justice for All") I've gotten used to songs longer than 4 minutes... So I'm listening to Opeth now and Ghost of Perdition is really awesome :P And I've forgotten how to play it! Oh well...

Also, I downloaded the music video for Psychosocial by Slipknot (woo!) and I was watching it when my mother comes in... and she sees fire and some very strange looking men jumping around in dark clothes and wearing very dark and evil looking masks yelling "I did my time! And I want out! So abusive" ect and goes "WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO!?" and I calmly say "Psychosocial by Slipknot" "What is this!? Why are you listening to this!?" and that's when I decided that she had had enough of listening to the song and should probably stop it... she told me to discern what kinds of music I listen to and not just listen to any old thing... I don't think she actually knew what Slipknot was like she just saw a guy with spikes coming out of his head, what could only barely be called a clown (looks faarrrr to creepy these days to be a clown!) and a guy in a large metal mask with glowing red eyes and thought "This is evil..."... yes she's right they are evil and if she had continued to watch the music video she would've seen a burning pentagram in the ground but she didn't know that! She doesn't know that it's the kind of music she doesn't want me listening to! She just assumed.......... correctly...... oh well. I got in a small amount of trouble and was told off to listening to and watching Slipknot... well good thing I wasn't watching the video clip to A.D.I.D.A.S by KoRn! :P Man she would've gone truly psychotic over that! If she ever bothered to see what music is on the computer she really wouldn't like what she hears! Thankfully as soon as she hears the music she doesn't stick around for the lyrics... woo! She thinks Linkin Park yell too much and are too heavy... so there's no way she'd even try to listen to a Mudvayne song :D

Anyhoo... I should probably start my day... I got up and didn't do much... had some breakfast then decided that, because no one was online, I'd check this blog and the thing that should not be has kinda challenged me to blog so I did.... goodbye now I have a day to do things in! I am off to read New Moon! (It's so sad! Got to the bit with Edward and Bella in the woods just outside her house and she gets lost and yeah... and it's all very very sad and she starts crying and hopefully that's not vague enough so people who have read the book know what I'm talking about but vague enough so people who haven't read the book don't get any spoilers...) and I will hopefully do some more... Like continue writing a song or recycle the endless mountains of garbage I've accumulated over the year by going to school! Teachers hate trees! Don't deny it... you do... you hate trees, you hate free time and you hate the environment because it doesn't teach us anything about physics or the poetry of Sylvia plath! (Who is dead now... like the trees...)

I think I might burn it... mainly the maths stuff... oh! Btw, never decide you want to set fire to something that produces smoke next to the laundry! I rediscovered the sparklers I have stored in my cupboard and decided that I haven't seen a good sparkler fire in a while so I'd make a slow burning one out of bamboo so the bamboo (that doesn't burn very easily) will spurt out fire and I can hold it and wander around ect... good thing I could move it because I realised that I could smell a lot of smoke... and the wind was blowing this smoke right into the clothes left out to dry... this was bad... nothing says suspiscious like me walking into the house smelling of smoke and then everyone's clothes also smelling of smoke... so I had to quickly move it and yeah... my rabbit seemed to enjoy watching me and my flaming stick of death....

If only I had a CD I'd put it in the microwave like I did a few years ago... the school ordered me to destroy the CD so I did!

Anyway.... took a bit longer than I thought I would but yeah... see? Can't do that within 20 minutes...

12:20

P.S. This is over 6 pages long.... beat that thing that should not be! :)

P.P.S Now my arm feels weird... it's... weird! Left arm hurts and my right elbow (on the front... what's the front? the back is the elbow BUT WHAT IS THE FRONT!? AAAGGHHHHH!!!!!) it feels... I don't know how it feels it's like... warmth... under my skin that massages and sends strange strange sensations running through my arm... make it stop! Bah! It's like being on the edge of being tickled without being tickled... only being tickled from the inside outwards.... something's... happening to me... I can feel it... *heaves* uurtggh! rarr I have blogged to much I'm... I'm... turning into something... inhuman! rrarrrrr *burst through the window* I have gone to devour the flesh of noobs and people who spend too much time on internet forums! Arrooooo!!!

OK, Post edit... I'd just like to point out to The Thing that Should Not Be... that he has only written 7 and a half pages in 6 posts... I have only 5 posts (Including this one) and 1 of them is just the rules of this blog... so if you really want it's 4 posts actually blogging properly but lets just say 5... doesn't matter 5 posts and 13 pages. You have an average of 1.25 and I have an average of 2.6... you get the latest two entries I have written and those two combined is pretty much the same amount as you've written entirely... come on it's far too easy to catch up to you.... and you typed a lot even when it wasn't holidays! I'm quite enjoying this actually :D Means you can't lord anything over me... because I still type more than you even if my blogs aren't as common as yours.... btw, good to see you're finally putting titles to your posts... anyhoo I really should leave now for real... I might just make another blog entry and then you'd really be far behind on the amount of blogging I've been doing...

Also, cornflake has a draft for a blog she hasn't written anything in it... I wish she would she has such a lovely and interesting way of talking :) And Brooklyn has only written just over 2 pages but she has her own blog (just like me... check it out, you'll see why I don't blog much on this one...) so yeah... lord it over her :P We're both totally awesome and talk a lot... woo! We talk a lot!