lucky

hooray for the first post of december!

also, it is the 17th post on this blog, and as most people should know, 17 is my lucky number!

well, 17 and a half has more meaning to it, but 17 is still lucky for me.
anyway, i feel honoured. or agravated. im not sure wich...

anyway i was reading bella's blog earlier, and i read the one about her friends mum. it actually made me rather sad, wich is unusual cause i didnt actually feel too sad when my uncle died in a car crash... hmmm i have gotten my priorities waaaayyyy mixed up here.

anyway as i was reading it i suddenly thought, whats it like to die???
morbid i know, but hey, who hasnt wondered that at some point in time???

i personally think that dying would be an absolutely fascinating experience, although im not really ready to try it out right at this moment. give it a week or two. but seriously the whole death thing fascinates me. i should become the next grim reaper. that would be my dream job i think.

i suppose one of the main things that's got me so fascinated is that all our speculations about death and dying are just that: speculations! we have no real evidence that anything or nothing or something happens, and even if it did, we have no way of knowing what it would be. i mean, we cant send someone out like we did to the moon and expect to hear back from them in a week or two, thats just silly. and thats really the only way we could know what happens afterwards.

its kinda like the anomalie of black holes. no-one really knows what would happen if you could pass through one. well, we know you would certainly die without some sort of ship or suit that can withstand the gravity, but if you could survive your trip through, we have no clue whats beyond there. absolutely no idea.

ooooh, mysterious. i dont like mysteries. most mysteries i solve quite quickly, but then i stop and im like no, that cant be it cause im stupid and theres no way i could have figured out the whole plot this quickly, it must be something completely non-related. and then the mysterie is solved, and im like, i so knew that, but of course no-one believes me. kinda sad really. doesnt anyone trust me to be able to think of stuff on my own. on second thoughts, dont answer, i may not like what i hear...

a little off the topic, but yes, i couldnt really continue my morbid conversation without side tracking a bit. it helps me think of new things to say. but its not really working right now unfortunately.

blargh. i would love to sit down and have a long deep and meaningful with death. i think he'd be an interesting person/thing. i mean, he's been around pretty much since life started, so im sure he's got some interesting tales to tell. unless he turns out to be like death from family guy. in wich case i'd just laugh myself to death. no pun intended.

sigh. im not really in the right headspace to be going on like this on an important topic like this. i lost one of my best friends and i dont know if i can get her back. on the upside i've been left speachless by a certain friend during a certain text conversation this weekend. it involved showers, kissing, killing god, me being a personal body guard, and what people want most in life. wich reminds me: everyone comment this, i want to know what everyone wants. so that way, when i become a powerful imortal super-being, i can give everyone what they REALLY want for christmas.

well, im nearly done now. i suppose il finish up by saying the best and most interesting thing about death and its related subjects is that whatever anybody thinks and believes is instantly right! well, we have no proof of anything, but we dont have any dis-proof either, so in this one instance, everyones oppinion can be correct!

oh, and to friend i feel i have lost: if you are reading this, i dont regret anything i'v said except the part about you doing yourself in. i am sorry for that, and i still want to remain friends. if you dont want to though, then tell me so, so that i wont be left waiting for something thats not going to happen. i still value you as one of my best friends, even if you dont feel the same way.