In The Begining, there was God. He sat down, looking upon all his creation, his loui vatton bag hanging from his flamboyant shoulder. The new issue of heat lying on the floor. he was as bored as hell. SO he pulled out his directors chair and said "Let there be Lights Up!" and to his illuminated stage of actors he spoke "Let the Show Begin".
And so it began.
And so has it been for all time.
The mysteries of the reality of the universe, in our true consciousness. But what we really think with, is the consciousness of the character we play.
We live and die as these characters.
Ourselves, we are all characters in a long play. Flamboyantly masked and played, completely foreign and fictional to our true selves.
But one day, it is prophesised. That may the butterflys flutter away, showing everything there truely is to the world.
reveal to us, in this grand play, what is what.
the sunshine our lighting
the world around us our prop.
Us? the actors of course.
i mean, we can only act in our costumes for so long.
At some point in our lives there has to be an intermission to this very show.
At some point in an actors life.
At some point the butterflys masking and holding the actor, that give them there very appearance, one day they'll flutter away and what would be left is a mystical and magical being.
A truye Lawrence Olivier
A true Anthony Hopkins, Humphry Boggart, Johnny Depp, Leornardo Di Caprio.
But of what appearance?
A lesser more frail form no doubt, but a more pure one.
They wish to be more, they strive to be more so they act.
They act in this play that is our lives.
This play "life" represents nothing they have.
They have to deal with the trivial matters of magic and mystisicm.
There is no normal in our real place of fantasy.
Normal is dreamt of to the Truth as Magic is dreamt of the the False.
So may the butterflies flutter, and we become who we are destined to be.
No longer we run, no longer we lie, no longer we hide.
Manifestations release themselves.
Sexuality blossom into its pure loving scent.
This play was written to reverse roles, so that the magic is something the norm is in the real world.
So our lesson in life, is when the butterflies flutter and dissapear
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I am a Terrible Person
It's not a question like when everyone else says it. I really am :P I scare small children... and I want a shirt that says that (*ahem* suggestion for christmas present?) I also have proof that I'm scary! Just look at this authentic conversation between me and a friend's little brother on facebook:
(Oh yeah, btw background information: I decided I would say his name multiple times in a row once because I told him it was fun to say... so it started off as saying ti 3 times in a row then 5 and so)
Btw his last name has been edited out for his protection... I don't want anyone stalking him but ME OK?
Bilby: OMG! IT'S CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! (now up to SIX TIMES! Because you're 6 times more awesome than any other of the Cheekin's I know!) HEEEEELLOOOOO!!! Hello.
45 Minutes ago
Cheekin:
Then:
Bilby:
(Oh yeah, btw background information: I decided I would say his name multiple times in a row once because I told him it was fun to say... so it started off as saying ti 3 times in a row then 5 and so)
Btw his last name has been edited out for his protection... I don't want anyone stalking him but ME OK?
Bilby: OMG! IT'S CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! (now up to SIX TIMES! Because you're 6 times more awesome than any other of the Cheekin's I know!) HEEEEELLOOOOO!!! Hello.
45 Minutes ago
Cheekin:
youre starting to freak me out :O
42 minutes ago
Bilby: (Cheekin needs an adult!) I'm only STARTING!? What!? You confirmed my friend request, you obviously don't find me too scary... and come on! All I did was say hello and hell your name 7 times and compare you to imaginary people... who would find THAT scary cheekin cheekin cheekin?
Bilby: (Cheekin needs an adult!) I'm only STARTING!? What!? You confirmed my friend request, you obviously don't find me too scary... and come on! All I did was say hello and hell your name 7 times and compare you to imaginary people... who would find THAT scary cheekin cheekin cheekin?
27 minutes ago
Bilby:
But why would I leave you alone Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin? You're so cool! :) And we're friiiiieeeendds on facceeeboook!
Bilby:
But why would I leave you alone Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin? You're so cool! :) And we're friiiiieeeendds on facceeeboook!
17 minutes ago
Bilby:
Bilby:
I've never felt more rejected and hurt! :'( I don't love you anymore Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin Cheekin.....
17 minutes ago · Delete
Cheekin:
Cheekin:
Then:
Bilby:
14 minutes ago
Bilby:
BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! How dare you lie to me! I feel so hurt... just for that I'm not giving you back your pet cat!
Bilby:
BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN CHEEKIN! How dare you lie to me! I feel so hurt... just for that I'm not giving you back your pet cat!
11 minutes ago
AP:
AP:
5 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:
Cheekin:
2 minutes ago ·
Cheekin:
Cheekin:
oh you were serious? i can never tell with you
2 seconds ago
The end :)
The really weird thing was how he actually had confirmed my friend request to begin with when he knew I was going to be weird and creepy towards him... and the even weirder thing is he didn't actually bother to remove me from his friends list during/after that... Hmm.
The end :)
The really weird thing was how he actually had confirmed my friend request to begin with when he knew I was going to be weird and creepy towards him... and the even weirder thing is he didn't actually bother to remove me from his friends list during/after that... Hmm.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I Come Tonight To Bring You...
Why hello boys and girls, ladies and gentleman.
I would like to introduce you to this extravagent event, yes. One to behold in your memories until the day you die yes sir-y.
And now, fine people of the audience i bring you...
Shit all really...
How is everyone?
Me? Well i feel like crap. Ill and all those shitty problems in life. yeah...
Oh well how about some creative writing then?
And so on came the time of Joshua Von Heaniwinkle, as he slew the dragon Davidanius Coxlickerartius.
On his journey home the head he held came alive and gave him fellatio.
Urgh sorry everyone, my juices aren't working today.
I knoooowww it was dissapointing, maybe oneday i can retell that fine story of the fine knight ;)
narh its a shit idea i wont.
Ummmmm,,,, now.
I'm going to a fancy restuarant later. oooh yummy.
EAT DICK AND PROSPER..
I would like to introduce you to this extravagent event, yes. One to behold in your memories until the day you die yes sir-y.
And now, fine people of the audience i bring you...
Shit all really...
How is everyone?
Me? Well i feel like crap. Ill and all those shitty problems in life. yeah...
Oh well how about some creative writing then?
And so on came the time of Joshua Von Heaniwinkle, as he slew the dragon Davidanius Coxlickerartius.
On his journey home the head he held came alive and gave him fellatio.
Urgh sorry everyone, my juices aren't working today.
I knoooowww it was dissapointing, maybe oneday i can retell that fine story of the fine knight ;)
narh its a shit idea i wont.
Ummmmm,,,, now.
I'm going to a fancy restuarant later. oooh yummy.
EAT DICK AND PROSPER..
Friday, August 21, 2009
fan_FUCKING_tastic
Ooh, does everyone want to here a factual day in the life of ol' Edgar?
No, but i'll tell you anyway.
Well, my life was considerably uneventful until it got to 4th period.
I sat around, depressed at the eventfulness of my current life. so i was kinda robotic for the end of that period.
then i went and filmed for a bit, coming back i run into my ex girlfriend, who's name is "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger".
now you see, i'll take you back to a little insightful backstory of my life.
Boy gets hugged by random girl, boy talks to girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, boy gives girl necklace.
now what is this necklace?
this necklace, is indeed a gift from my mother. It isn't worth much, but i dont often see my mother.
I see her once a year, so i take all the time i'm with her for granted, and this necklace becomes of huge sentimental value to myself, because its from mummy :D.
because it was worth a lot to me, i thought it was a romantic gesture for my girl to have it for aslong as my heart is hers, or some romantic bullshit like that.
Anyway, little miss "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" dumps me for another dude. Her best mate.
he is a little weedytrys-to-be-scene-but-fails kiddo who has a criminal record for shop lifting and gets beaten up by 14 year olds.
yeah...dont i fell great, i get dumped for that :\
what does that make me?
dont answer that! lol
so back to the story, i'm walking back with Afroman, holding my camera with a tripod and "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" is behind me.
i turn and say "oi, i want my necklace back",
"slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" mutters something.
i then say "OI! I WANT MY FUCKI-" thwack i walk into a pole....
Afroman looks at me and starts laughing. I then start laughing at the hillarity of the situation.
Okay, there i am, trying to make a statement, against some horrible human being. And what happens to me? I WALK INTO A POLE.
OFF ALL THINGS....A POLE.
straight after that i just couldnt look dignified you know, which made the rest of the arguement horribly awkward.
Anyway, i dont know whats happening with the necklace. but i got considerably upset after this confrontation,
i'm laying at the desk and everyones like "haha ohh Edgar you look tired"
I'm like "i'm not tired...."
there like "oh then stop slacking LOL"
i'm like "grrrrrrr asshole"
Bilby actually noticed, as did Netsrik who i had a talk with briefly before the gossipy girls surround and mobbed her with hairclip compliments.
Afroman and Jethron Gastroll said they'd back em up on the bus since "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" takes the bus with them.
i walk home
i infact walked home with Bilby.
Anyway, i get home and all is pretty cool. i just hope i get to go out this weekend.
anyway, just felt i should tell you how much it sucks to have all dignity taken out of you at a time you really need it.
CHOW CHOW
No, but i'll tell you anyway.
Well, my life was considerably uneventful until it got to 4th period.
I sat around, depressed at the eventfulness of my current life. so i was kinda robotic for the end of that period.
then i went and filmed for a bit, coming back i run into my ex girlfriend, who's name is "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger".
now you see, i'll take you back to a little insightful backstory of my life.
Boy gets hugged by random girl, boy talks to girl, girl likes boy, boy likes girl, boy gives girl necklace.
now what is this necklace?
this necklace, is indeed a gift from my mother. It isn't worth much, but i dont often see my mother.
I see her once a year, so i take all the time i'm with her for granted, and this necklace becomes of huge sentimental value to myself, because its from mummy :D.
because it was worth a lot to me, i thought it was a romantic gesture for my girl to have it for aslong as my heart is hers, or some romantic bullshit like that.
Anyway, little miss "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" dumps me for another dude. Her best mate.
he is a little weedytrys-to-be-scene-but-fails kiddo who has a criminal record for shop lifting and gets beaten up by 14 year olds.
yeah...dont i fell great, i get dumped for that :\
what does that make me?
dont answer that! lol
so back to the story, i'm walking back with Afroman, holding my camera with a tripod and "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" is behind me.
i turn and say "oi, i want my necklace back",
"slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" mutters something.
i then say "OI! I WANT MY FUCKI-" thwack i walk into a pole....
Afroman looks at me and starts laughing. I then start laughing at the hillarity of the situation.
Okay, there i am, trying to make a statement, against some horrible human being. And what happens to me? I WALK INTO A POLE.
OFF ALL THINGS....A POLE.
straight after that i just couldnt look dignified you know, which made the rest of the arguement horribly awkward.
Anyway, i dont know whats happening with the necklace. but i got considerably upset after this confrontation,
i'm laying at the desk and everyones like "haha ohh Edgar you look tired"
I'm like "i'm not tired...."
there like "oh then stop slacking LOL"
i'm like "grrrrrrr asshole"
Bilby actually noticed, as did Netsrik who i had a talk with briefly before the gossipy girls surround and mobbed her with hairclip compliments.
Afroman and Jethron Gastroll said they'd back em up on the bus since "slutty mc slut slut fat bitch fatty foopa faty fatty fat fat emo whore bitch ass peice of shit loser cunt little self centred woe is me whore bitch slut cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt, shippidy doo dar shippy dee day selfish scrag minger" takes the bus with them.
i walk home
i infact walked home with Bilby.
Anyway, i get home and all is pretty cool. i just hope i get to go out this weekend.
anyway, just felt i should tell you how much it sucks to have all dignity taken out of you at a time you really need it.
CHOW CHOW
Thursday, August 20, 2009
bored
i havnt posted a blog in a while
so i thought i would
so
anyone read cobbs blogg lately???
it is rather good if i do say so myself. he can be a bit of a sick puppy, it would seem. but what he sais is usually true, funnily enough. i also have started my own blog now. unfortunately it is not anywhere near as good as cobbs or my beloved raynes. well, its about equall with cornflakes, but only cause she never posts anything at all. come on people, make with the interesting posts already! except you cobb, your working overtime at the moment.
oh, and public enemies was really over-rated. just kept going and going and going.
so i thought i would
so
anyone read cobbs blogg lately???
it is rather good if i do say so myself. he can be a bit of a sick puppy, it would seem. but what he sais is usually true, funnily enough. i also have started my own blog now. unfortunately it is not anywhere near as good as cobbs or my beloved raynes. well, its about equall with cornflakes, but only cause she never posts anything at all. come on people, make with the interesting posts already! except you cobb, your working overtime at the moment.
oh, and public enemies was really over-rated. just kept going and going and going.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
When A Monster Cums
When a monster cums your child will die
the devil may sing, and the angels may cry
With a monsters touch your flowers wither
The perverts sigh and the maggots slither
In a monsters embrace you lose your faith
In an empty world, death haunts like a wraith
In monster pornography a massacre begins
bloody fellatio, shown with a pedophiles sins
When a monster breeds you'll loose your tongue
You'll suffer in agony, for whats about to come
When a monsters born it'll split you open
we'll see your insides, and you'll know it's touch again.
the devil may sing, and the angels may cry
With a monsters touch your flowers wither
The perverts sigh and the maggots slither
In a monsters embrace you lose your faith
In an empty world, death haunts like a wraith
In monster pornography a massacre begins
bloody fellatio, shown with a pedophiles sins
When a monster breeds you'll loose your tongue
You'll suffer in agony, for whats about to come
When a monsters born it'll split you open
we'll see your insides, and you'll know it's touch again.
Monday, August 17, 2009
from a land of sluts and gluttony
from a land of sluts and gluttony
where the deviants come to play
from a land of sluts and gluttony
where the perverts get to prey
from a land of sluts and gluttony
what else is there, but a foul Gomorrah stench? you've smelt it before but not in abundance.
it tickles your nose, the dirty sex smell, taking you back to such dirty acts, depraved and ecstatic, but the smells of a different meaning to dirty.
the foul overpowering sickening stench, of what happens all around. Your envy of everyone else, as they twist and turn and go to places you've not yet dared entered.
But oh what is this? here comes the whore of babylon, wrapped in her red stained silk. The moisture of her cunt, making the silk cling on like a tick at an artery.
And the crowd goes wild as she takes in her next willing bachelor.
Through the crust of a thousand men was a goal worth clutching between her open legs.
The crowd continues to roar. and the roar becomes a screech. a succubi call of fornication
excretion
ingestion
Amatuar transvestites dance around the couples embrace. There embrace turns to one, and from that one they sprout like a flower.
beautiful crimson flowers, surrounded by a tan leaf barrier,
and so forth come the bee's who wish to pollinate this bloomed flower.
taking with it the milk, the essense and the beauty. leaving behind an empty dry husk.
And at the fall of the whore of babylon, so came the birth of many.
Her milk delivered to the children, to the townsfolk and to the unlearned.
For what became was a revolution.
From a future born to lead a sexual revolt, came an offsplit. Like an amoeba.
those children fed on the milk, around the Ova of a dying world.
and so from a land of sluts and gluttony came a world of death for the living and life for the dying
where the deviants come to play
from a land of sluts and gluttony
where the perverts get to prey
from a land of sluts and gluttony
what else is there, but a foul Gomorrah stench? you've smelt it before but not in abundance.
it tickles your nose, the dirty sex smell, taking you back to such dirty acts, depraved and ecstatic, but the smells of a different meaning to dirty.
the foul overpowering sickening stench, of what happens all around. Your envy of everyone else, as they twist and turn and go to places you've not yet dared entered.
But oh what is this? here comes the whore of babylon, wrapped in her red stained silk. The moisture of her cunt, making the silk cling on like a tick at an artery.
And the crowd goes wild as she takes in her next willing bachelor.
Through the crust of a thousand men was a goal worth clutching between her open legs.
The crowd continues to roar. and the roar becomes a screech. a succubi call of fornication
excretion
ingestion
Amatuar transvestites dance around the couples embrace. There embrace turns to one, and from that one they sprout like a flower.
beautiful crimson flowers, surrounded by a tan leaf barrier,
and so forth come the bee's who wish to pollinate this bloomed flower.
taking with it the milk, the essense and the beauty. leaving behind an empty dry husk.
And at the fall of the whore of babylon, so came the birth of many.
Her milk delivered to the children, to the townsfolk and to the unlearned.
For what became was a revolution.
From a future born to lead a sexual revolt, came an offsplit. Like an amoeba.
those children fed on the milk, around the Ova of a dying world.
and so from a land of sluts and gluttony came a world of death for the living and life for the dying
Thursday, August 13, 2009
My newwwwww blog
hey everyone!
guess what? I made my own Blog :D
over here at:
http://assortedramblingsofcuntflakes.blogspot.com/
Oh, don't worry lovey's. you dont have to cry.
I won't be leaving you all :'(
I'd just be able to focus on oddities there.
anyway JOIN IT, if your upto it become an author on it
guess what? I made my own Blog :D
over here at:
http://assortedramblingsofcuntflakes.blogspot.com/
Oh, don't worry lovey's. you dont have to cry.
I won't be leaving you all :'(
I'd just be able to focus on oddities there.
anyway JOIN IT, if your upto it become an author on it
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Rollerskating
Hey want to go a fundraiser for Tafe with me?
Sure!
It's at a rollerdrome in Moorly.
.......as in... skating....
Yes...
Oh goodie!
I haven't tried to skate since I was about... 7? Oh goodie this is going to be great! Long bus trip time! OK so we're here but no one else is because we're half an hour early. So we (Lorna, her friend and I btw) decide to go find food.... which was surprisingly hard to find when you're surrounded by random businesses that sell matresses and fridges (which unfortunately aren't food!) but we were kindly picked up by one of Lorna's friends who was driving past (it was rather scary... walking along -at night -when this voice says our names from behind and asks us if we're lost) and directed to the food! Also known as Nando's. (Nando's! Yay! The place were their chips taste good cold) Now armed with a bag of food we went back to the rollerdrome! (the dreaded... dreaded... evil rollerdrome....)
How do I know what size I am?
*points*
Ah.
5 minutes later:
I don't think these come in a bigger size... I sure hope they're not too small...
I sure hope these aren't too big...
(I'll leave you to try and figure out who that dialogue belongs to... until you read the next sentence)
Turns out that they just fitted me. Took a bit of effort to get those on but I managed to squeeze into them. Surely there must be people out there with bigger feet than me (as much as I'd like to brag about having large feet I'm sure there's a store that sells shoes larger than the ones I've got... just need to find it) so they must've had some special large ones for such an occasion...
Waaa! OK... wow I feel tall! I'm so tall... the wall is my friend. Agh how do you move in these things?
Suddenly, a little girl about 4 or 5 skates past us quite fast with complete control over what she was doing.....
What!? That little girl is so good and I can't even move! Ergh! *Tries to walk normally* Aha! I have managed to get forward!
OK you know what Willy Wonka sounds like? Yeah... dirty. Well let's just say "Wonka" man also came blazing along on the outside of the rink right past us. He had a very annoying way of stopping/slowing down. He'd go all ice-skater on you and stop by scraping his skates along horizontal to his path so it'd slow him down quickly while going EEERRRRR!!!! The weird thing was he was middle aged... when everyone else was either 14 (because of some kids birthday party) or 17-20 (Tafe + me! Yay for youngest older?) except for the 4 year old girl (whose skates were so large and thick compared to her legs I wondered how she was even able to move them...) so there he was... this strange old man skating around amateurs like a semi-pro making us all feel pathetic and giving some of a feeling of impending doom as we wonder if he's stopping behind us because maybe he's about to hit us....
Hey let's go trip some pretentious little kids who think they're better than us...
Unfortunately they're just too fast to trip up and whiz past you when you're trying to learn how to move forward. Curse them!
Meanwhile, Wonka man is still skating round in circles!
OK everyone it's time for a GAME!
What?
OK you all need to skate to a circle with a number in it and when I say stop you stop. Then we roll a dice and the number that lands the people in that circle are out!
No one informed me they'd boss me around with large fluffy dice!
Once I got into the circle I thankfully had so little momentum I came to a stop halfway through. I didn't know how to stop let alone how to get moving properly... I didn't get out so wasn't apparently allowed to leave. Damn, have to go to a new circle? How!? I managed to get into a circle all by my self.... awww...
Well, the games came on and off, being replaced by general skating or me getting off the rink to go avoid having to try and move around. I learnt how to stop during my time of the rink though! It often involved me coming towards a wall and then stopping sudenly while trying to look non-chalante and then pose and go "Hey..." to anyone nearby.
Damn ranga kid nearby would then skate past and say "EPIC FAIL!" to which I'd reply: "SHUT UP!" (I'm ever so witty)
After half a bag of Nando's chips and some practice I had managed to become moderately adequate at skating! I was now capable of moving forward at a reasonable pace without wobbling, toppling or falling! (Which I rarely did even when I had barely any control over what I was doing) When I wobbled I'd just straighten up and then pose to show just how awesome I am that I didn't fall over that time! Wow!
EPIC FAIL!
Shut up! I'm not epic fail!
Mwahaha it's so fun chasing people down with skates then actually being able to manuever away from the wall before you hit it! It didn't take too long to learn how to do this :) I'm so glad I am no longer grossly inadequate and incompetant compared to that little 4 year old that likes to surpass me. (It's always a good sign when I have overcome my inadequacies brought on by small children....?) Well by the end I was even turning round in mid skate and going the other direction without falling over! Was absolutely wonderful! I felt so awesome.
And so did Wonka man... singing along to all the songs (loudly) and skating rings around us all... hence his name "Wonka" man. Oh yes.... what a Wonka he is to be singing obnoxiously to songs while he shows off. Well I decided to mock him and go "WONKA MAN AWAY!" and pose but it unfortunately led to me falling over and completely stacking it... this was just after I had decided I was stable enough I didn't need wrist guards and so took them off so I could hold hands with Lorna... ow. Oh well. Strangely enough she only wanted to hold hands while stationary because she didn't seem to think that I was completely good enough to skate right next to in case I fall over and accidentally drag her down/land on her... I wonder why...
By the end of the night I still didn't know how to stop properly and had to rely on people getting out of my way while I slowed down... it worked pretty reliably actually.
OK everyone get into couples! It's your last chance to win a prize for this evening! OK the couples just have to do as I say! Skate holding hands with your partner!
Awww....
OK now when I say change, change direction! Change!
OK. This doesn't seem too hard.
Change!
Urgh...
Change! OK now go low... skate as low as you can... and now stretch up high! Now low again...... lower.... everyone participate come on. Now high. Low. High. Low. High! Low! High! Low! Sit down! Stand up! Now do sit ups! More! More! OK and up......... and change.......... change....... change. Change. Change. Change. Change! Change! Changechangechangechangechange!
F*** you lady!
Changechangechangechangechangechange! Alright! I think that's enough. Goodnight everyone, please return your gear.
No last song? Oh well. Did you enjoy yourself?
Yes, I did very much. And now I know how to skate :) I also didn't fall down more than a few times!
Very good!
And that was the tale of how I learnt to fall down gracefully....
The end.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
My Sex Life.
Well... I wish i didnt go through the last 5 hours of my life. but i did. and i suppose i had to, because quite honestly, i had to try get laid.
But why did i have to go to that club? on that night?
Was it the mysterious forces of the god of the fucked that brought me there, or was it just sheer luck?
I suppose it's just one of the many mysteries that dwells in the inner depths of my mind.
I been having a little drink at home, i didn't have much, afterall there wasn't really much in the first place... So anyway, being depressed from just recently going through a horrible break up, i had to get out there, and i needed more drink also. So why not go down to the bar?
I did so anyway. I walk through the door.. the first thing i see is some fat hulk of a thing lying passed out on the pool table. A group of guys are surrounding it. This "thing" gets up, and i think " oh it's a woman" then i was like "oh wait no it isnt" thewn i was like "oh, wait, yep it is" then i was like "i honestly don't know what the FUCK IT IS"
All of a sudden she looks over, and a huge grin goes onto her face. "ohhh fuck!" i exclaimed. i don't mean to be shallow or anything, but i dont want this thing paying attention to me. I mean, c'mon, worst case scenerio it'll be wasted night by having this fat thing dribbling all over me.
It's how it's always been though, i can never really attract a normal woman, there either fucking weird, weird looking, suicidal tendencies and on several occasions not even a woman at all.
I was considering walking out this bar right that second.
the incredible blob yells "Edgar!!!", and i'm like "FUCK, she knows my name".
how, how could i possibly know this person. I'm astressing out, am i at my stalkers bar or what the fuck is it?
She slides right off, her geletan stomache wriggling all around the place outta control!
Gosh this woman has such a resemblance to my high school friend Steve it's not funny.
....wait...holy fuck.... THAT IS STEVE.'
"ohai steven, didn't think i'd see you here, after so many years after high school"
Steve all of a sudden stresses out. He pulls me over, raising his hand, i see under his armpit.
ewww, just something about arm pit hair ON ANYONE that makes me want to vomit. seriously.
"dude, dont let those guys over there know my name. i got a god thing going"
"oh steve you didn't become a hooker did you?"
"narh bro, i'm doing a drunk bust up"
"a drunk bust up?"
"yeah man. what happens is you designate the drunk chick, after you've got a few guys hanging off you, you stumble drunk outside where a group will mob them, you act like the damsel in distress, while ya mates put you in the truck, and the guys dont even know it was your master plan all along."
i look over to this group of guys. All weird featured dudes in there late 50's, ealry 60's. there foreheads and eyeballs all seemd quite exagerated, they were obviously all single.
But what i didnt get it how Steven got away with his horrid disguise, geez he certianly put on some weight since our high school days.
Anyway, Steve led the eager dudes out the bar, while i took a seat. There was a weird group of girls, all in funny wigs, tipsy off whatever it was they were drinking. Bartenders and barmaids alike looking over in embarrasment, they'd obviously been that annoying a good amount of the night.
The cackling of there horrid drunk laughs, the weird conversation topics.
I mean, it did clarify some questions i had. You know how you see those extremely overweight women in public in ther e50's or 60's, that have no sex appeal to them at all? You think "god did they ever look like anything else before they turned to this or are they like ammeaba's and just split off asexually from one another, born of the exact appearance.
Would make sense anyway, people like that are of a face you see a million times.
but back to what i was saying. no what i said beforew, that theory, was proven wrong.
I know what they looked like. All though they kept a womanly figure, (nbot all of them) the faces just echoed what i have seen so many time, the fickle single asexual women, that hate all thats human in society and stay in a world of there own. The weird friend of your mothers that you always suspected of being lesbian, but wasn't.
Anyway they look over at me and there all like "wooooaaaaaaaaaaah!". Oh fuck what is it people noticing me? i always attract a weird group in the wrong way.
Don't get me wrong, i love weird groups, there interesting and quircky. But i don't want to have sex with them.
It's like, i have a dog because it's a personality and unique, not because i wanna fuck it.
I turn around, looking twice to see if i was drunk enough to take just a slight interest, but as i do i notice a hot little number walking her way to the barstand.
"ohai", i say to her as she sits. Beautiful short brown hair, hazel eyes, a volumptous figure, and a small beautiful smile to top it off.
"hey" she smiles back.
All of a sudden a huge commotion at the door.
It Slams shut, and there stands one of Steven's pick ups from the pool table. In his late 50's, balding, wearing a boring brown suit with plated shirt. His pale sweaty forehead was bleeding, a treacle running down just pass his eye.
He was crying irratically, almost screaming.
The bartender, an athletic built kiwi, stands up "hey hey hey, whats the commotion?".
"I'VE...(HUGE HIGH PITCHY WHINGING AND PUFFING GOING ON)...BEEN...(Oh fuck is that a huge piss stain on his pants?)...R-R-R-R-R-R-ROBBBED!!!".
The bartender jumps over the barstand and makes his way over "who did this? what happened exactly?" he turns to the barmaid, a blonde in her late 20's, "Katie, dial 000, tell them there's been a mugging"
"MA GIRRLLLL!!!" that iradic, poor, awkward look man, crying and whining still. "THEY TOOK HER IN A VAN!".
"Who, the fat transvestite?" the puzzled bartender, being forced to think fast in this situation (the poor sod), replies with no real thought.
"SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SAMANTHA", oh god that's not more piss going down his trousers is it? and do i smell shit?
I turn to look over at the pretty brunette, "huh,what a commotion, am i right?"
she wasn't there......fuck.
"don't worry honey, i know how to make it all better"
Urgh...you gotta be shitting me...
I turn to see her french kissing the robbed man...
great...
I've had enough at this point. Sure they're werent too many obsceneties to make me break down. but after my recent break up, and my need for some human contact (with a more attractive female, i dont mean to be shallow, but it's what i have ben urging exactly. i cant change that, it's like when your in the mood for lasagne, it's not going to go away by eating raw potatoes)
anyway wherew was I? yes, after my break up, and my urge for contact, i just came to some werird conclusion.
Oh gosh those fucking weird wigged girls in the corner again, all the oohing and aahing of that confusing spectator sport at the door, the soiled man getting a new sort of wettness in his pants.
well there they go, out the door and into the night.
But i basically lost it. i thought, "well hey, i'm fairly normal am i right? (dead silence from the third person perspective). "Why is it the weird guy gets the girl? and the normal dude gets the weirdo's?"
so i look over to see a busty blonde in the corner, really defined features in her face, strong jaw line. I walk over there and i flop out my junk.
"hey bitchhhhnipples, wana ride maaa donkey stick it costa you free dollah!!"
At first she was taken aback by my gesture ("yes my theory worked huzzah!!!!"), i decided to be on the safe side.
"i gotta shove poopoo in da microwave so the rhino's dont get to it before the adventurerers from taraploonga get there first!".
now that weirded her out.
Oh...my theory didn't work :(
but then i realised there was more to it then met the eye.
urgh, how could i have been so STUPID!
It was the token barr transvestite (not steven).
I knew those defined facial features were too much!
Very similiar looking to one on a movie me and my friend josh watched the previous day called the bagman.
Well, no lost there.
I can see she lost interested after the poopoo comment, and neither did the wigged girls.
Obviously because i was the only "conventional" man in there before, they all set there weird sights on me, and now that i showed i was no different (supposedly) they all got up and left.
Well at least it did leave the normal people :)
which there were none.
oops i forgot to put my junk back in my pants ^-^ forgive me for that!
Well, i got home, blue balls, cold balls (from over exposure to the dense atmosphere of the bar), blue mind, nasty tinge of vomit mixed with rum in my mouth, and nerves like you wouldnt believe.
yeah, being drunk with nerves, bit of a lose lose isnt it? isnt it like physically impossible? lol i dont know....
Anyway... Just to show... Why is it only the scary people show an interest in me when im out at places? :(
i dont mean to post a shallow sounding blog, thats my last intention, but i just wish to express how sometimes, what you need can get easily confused with what you want when other people see you.
i have yet to have a nice experience with someone i can feel on an emotional level with.
but thankyou for reading my vented sexual frustration, in a quasi fictional narrative...
(ps. NO i did not meanm STEVE BARRON. this steve is fictional. although if steve greww upto play drunk bust up i'd piss myself laughing)
(btw i created the concept of drunk bust up)
But why did i have to go to that club? on that night?
Was it the mysterious forces of the god of the fucked that brought me there, or was it just sheer luck?
I suppose it's just one of the many mysteries that dwells in the inner depths of my mind.
I been having a little drink at home, i didn't have much, afterall there wasn't really much in the first place... So anyway, being depressed from just recently going through a horrible break up, i had to get out there, and i needed more drink also. So why not go down to the bar?
I did so anyway. I walk through the door.. the first thing i see is some fat hulk of a thing lying passed out on the pool table. A group of guys are surrounding it. This "thing" gets up, and i think " oh it's a woman" then i was like "oh wait no it isnt" thewn i was like "oh, wait, yep it is" then i was like "i honestly don't know what the FUCK IT IS"
All of a sudden she looks over, and a huge grin goes onto her face. "ohhh fuck!" i exclaimed. i don't mean to be shallow or anything, but i dont want this thing paying attention to me. I mean, c'mon, worst case scenerio it'll be wasted night by having this fat thing dribbling all over me.
It's how it's always been though, i can never really attract a normal woman, there either fucking weird, weird looking, suicidal tendencies and on several occasions not even a woman at all.
I was considering walking out this bar right that second.
the incredible blob yells "Edgar!!!", and i'm like "FUCK, she knows my name".
how, how could i possibly know this person. I'm astressing out, am i at my stalkers bar or what the fuck is it?
She slides right off, her geletan stomache wriggling all around the place outta control!
Gosh this woman has such a resemblance to my high school friend Steve it's not funny.
....wait...holy fuck.... THAT IS STEVE.'
"ohai steven, didn't think i'd see you here, after so many years after high school"
Steve all of a sudden stresses out. He pulls me over, raising his hand, i see under his armpit.
ewww, just something about arm pit hair ON ANYONE that makes me want to vomit. seriously.
"dude, dont let those guys over there know my name. i got a god thing going"
"oh steve you didn't become a hooker did you?"
"narh bro, i'm doing a drunk bust up"
"a drunk bust up?"
"yeah man. what happens is you designate the drunk chick, after you've got a few guys hanging off you, you stumble drunk outside where a group will mob them, you act like the damsel in distress, while ya mates put you in the truck, and the guys dont even know it was your master plan all along."
i look over to this group of guys. All weird featured dudes in there late 50's, ealry 60's. there foreheads and eyeballs all seemd quite exagerated, they were obviously all single.
But what i didnt get it how Steven got away with his horrid disguise, geez he certianly put on some weight since our high school days.
Anyway, Steve led the eager dudes out the bar, while i took a seat. There was a weird group of girls, all in funny wigs, tipsy off whatever it was they were drinking. Bartenders and barmaids alike looking over in embarrasment, they'd obviously been that annoying a good amount of the night.
The cackling of there horrid drunk laughs, the weird conversation topics.
I mean, it did clarify some questions i had. You know how you see those extremely overweight women in public in ther e50's or 60's, that have no sex appeal to them at all? You think "god did they ever look like anything else before they turned to this or are they like ammeaba's and just split off asexually from one another, born of the exact appearance.
Would make sense anyway, people like that are of a face you see a million times.
but back to what i was saying. no what i said beforew, that theory, was proven wrong.
I know what they looked like. All though they kept a womanly figure, (nbot all of them) the faces just echoed what i have seen so many time, the fickle single asexual women, that hate all thats human in society and stay in a world of there own. The weird friend of your mothers that you always suspected of being lesbian, but wasn't.
Anyway they look over at me and there all like "wooooaaaaaaaaaaah!". Oh fuck what is it people noticing me? i always attract a weird group in the wrong way.
Don't get me wrong, i love weird groups, there interesting and quircky. But i don't want to have sex with them.
It's like, i have a dog because it's a personality and unique, not because i wanna fuck it.
I turn around, looking twice to see if i was drunk enough to take just a slight interest, but as i do i notice a hot little number walking her way to the barstand.
"ohai", i say to her as she sits. Beautiful short brown hair, hazel eyes, a volumptous figure, and a small beautiful smile to top it off.
"hey" she smiles back.
All of a sudden a huge commotion at the door.
It Slams shut, and there stands one of Steven's pick ups from the pool table. In his late 50's, balding, wearing a boring brown suit with plated shirt. His pale sweaty forehead was bleeding, a treacle running down just pass his eye.
He was crying irratically, almost screaming.
The bartender, an athletic built kiwi, stands up "hey hey hey, whats the commotion?".
"I'VE...(HUGE HIGH PITCHY WHINGING AND PUFFING GOING ON)...BEEN...(Oh fuck is that a huge piss stain on his pants?)...R-R-R-R-R-R-ROBBBED!!!".
The bartender jumps over the barstand and makes his way over "who did this? what happened exactly?" he turns to the barmaid, a blonde in her late 20's, "Katie, dial 000, tell them there's been a mugging"
"MA GIRRLLLL!!!" that iradic, poor, awkward look man, crying and whining still. "THEY TOOK HER IN A VAN!".
"Who, the fat transvestite?" the puzzled bartender, being forced to think fast in this situation (the poor sod), replies with no real thought.
"SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL! DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY SAMANTHA", oh god that's not more piss going down his trousers is it? and do i smell shit?
I turn to look over at the pretty brunette, "huh,what a commotion, am i right?"
she wasn't there......fuck.
"don't worry honey, i know how to make it all better"
Urgh...you gotta be shitting me...
I turn to see her french kissing the robbed man...
great...
I've had enough at this point. Sure they're werent too many obsceneties to make me break down. but after my recent break up, and my need for some human contact (with a more attractive female, i dont mean to be shallow, but it's what i have ben urging exactly. i cant change that, it's like when your in the mood for lasagne, it's not going to go away by eating raw potatoes)
anyway wherew was I? yes, after my break up, and my urge for contact, i just came to some werird conclusion.
Oh gosh those fucking weird wigged girls in the corner again, all the oohing and aahing of that confusing spectator sport at the door, the soiled man getting a new sort of wettness in his pants.
well there they go, out the door and into the night.
But i basically lost it. i thought, "well hey, i'm fairly normal am i right? (dead silence from the third person perspective). "Why is it the weird guy gets the girl? and the normal dude gets the weirdo's?"
so i look over to see a busty blonde in the corner, really defined features in her face, strong jaw line. I walk over there and i flop out my junk.
"hey bitchhhhnipples, wana ride maaa donkey stick it costa you free dollah!!"
At first she was taken aback by my gesture ("yes my theory worked huzzah!!!!"), i decided to be on the safe side.
"i gotta shove poopoo in da microwave so the rhino's dont get to it before the adventurerers from taraploonga get there first!".
now that weirded her out.
Oh...my theory didn't work :(
but then i realised there was more to it then met the eye.
urgh, how could i have been so STUPID!
It was the token barr transvestite (not steven).
I knew those defined facial features were too much!
Very similiar looking to one on a movie me and my friend josh watched the previous day called the bagman.
Well, no lost there.
I can see she lost interested after the poopoo comment, and neither did the wigged girls.
Obviously because i was the only "conventional" man in there before, they all set there weird sights on me, and now that i showed i was no different (supposedly) they all got up and left.
Well at least it did leave the normal people :)
which there were none.
oops i forgot to put my junk back in my pants ^-^ forgive me for that!
Well, i got home, blue balls, cold balls (from over exposure to the dense atmosphere of the bar), blue mind, nasty tinge of vomit mixed with rum in my mouth, and nerves like you wouldnt believe.
yeah, being drunk with nerves, bit of a lose lose isnt it? isnt it like physically impossible? lol i dont know....
Anyway... Just to show... Why is it only the scary people show an interest in me when im out at places? :(
i dont mean to post a shallow sounding blog, thats my last intention, but i just wish to express how sometimes, what you need can get easily confused with what you want when other people see you.
i have yet to have a nice experience with someone i can feel on an emotional level with.
but thankyou for reading my vented sexual frustration, in a quasi fictional narrative...
(ps. NO i did not meanm STEVE BARRON. this steve is fictional. although if steve greww upto play drunk bust up i'd piss myself laughing)
(btw i created the concept of drunk bust up)
Friday, August 7, 2009
curse you derek
welly welly welly well well my little droogies, it has been a while, has it not??? to be honest not a lot of fun stuff has been happening in my life to post about. still nothing is actually, but i felt bad that i hadnt posted in a while. soooooooo, how are we all??? thats good isnt it??? everybody's hunky dory. i find myself getting rapidly sick of all that unfortunately. the whole meandering pointlesness to everyday life. its so boring. i cant wait for the end of the world, things may finally start to get more interesting.
i have a question for the readers: do you find it irritating when people continually ask you what is wrong, when on that particular day you are actually doing pretty good??? well yesterday i got that from not 1, not 2, BUT 3 PEOPLE! seriously, do i look like something's up with me??? well, you all wouldnt know, as i am communicating through a computer screen and keyboard. so unless you all have hidden camera's in my house, wich im kinda suspecting that people do, you couldnt say.
career and enterprise, finally a subject were im not the only one wagging! 5 people wagged it on wednesday, and the teacher had a massive rage at us on thursday. it was pretty funny, caus ehe knew that most of us wagged, but he couldnt prove it. i said i was feeling sick and went to lie down. hehehe, dodged the bullet :P
my music library has begun expanding rapidly lately, wich i am quite happy with. unfortunately i have hit a bit of a wall at the moment, so if anyone knows any really good stuff, please dont hesitate to tell me so. staying round cobbs tonight. he wants to make a rap video for his youtube channel starring me :S im not entirely sure wether to be excited or sceptical, im thinking i should be leaning towards the sceptical side of things, knowing the other video's he has made. inbred hillbilly, hehehe good times. i was married to the inbred hillbilly at one point. what a wedding that was.
i am so over this whole education crap. seriously i am counting down the days till i dont have to get up for school anymore. and with uni im just going to do what derek does. he hasnt gone to a single lecture, he downloads them off the internet at home. and he's passing! what a legend that derek is. except the time he nearly killed me in his car. i was riding in the boot, and i thought he was purposefully shaking the car about just to cause me to smash into the sides of the boot. then i got out of the car, and jesse was like, yea derek nearly crashed about 5 times back there, you would have died. and then jason came up and was like, yea he was pretty high as well, your kinda lucky he managed to avoid crashing. and i was just standing there like, derek you basterd, i am going to kill you.
then i pulled out my gun and shot him in the face!!!!! nah, not really. im kinda short on firearms at the moment. i must make a purchase of one sometime incase derek decides to drive while high again. then theres hamish who drag raced with an undercover cop car. he's supposed to be in court in 7 weeks. he wont be getting his licence back for a looooooooong time now.
oh and rayne: how have i changed??? you said to cornflake that i have changed since u got back from scotland. i dont think i'v changed, have i??? how have i changed??? and more importantly, why did you not just come and say it to my face instead of texting my friends??? im not mad, im just confused. grrr, why do i still try to understand girls???
oh and for those who dont know, i have created a new blog! its pretty much entirely about music and songs. just sometimes get the urge to go on tangeants about music, and i thought this would be the best way to go about it. well if you wanna check it out, dont hesitate to. oh and leave plenty of comments please, i like to hear other peoples oppinions and responses :) well, i must get ready for cobb's now, so i shall hopefully post again within the week. till the next time, your friendly neighbourhood thing that should not be.
i have a question for the readers: do you find it irritating when people continually ask you what is wrong, when on that particular day you are actually doing pretty good??? well yesterday i got that from not 1, not 2, BUT 3 PEOPLE! seriously, do i look like something's up with me??? well, you all wouldnt know, as i am communicating through a computer screen and keyboard. so unless you all have hidden camera's in my house, wich im kinda suspecting that people do, you couldnt say.
career and enterprise, finally a subject were im not the only one wagging! 5 people wagged it on wednesday, and the teacher had a massive rage at us on thursday. it was pretty funny, caus ehe knew that most of us wagged, but he couldnt prove it. i said i was feeling sick and went to lie down. hehehe, dodged the bullet :P
my music library has begun expanding rapidly lately, wich i am quite happy with. unfortunately i have hit a bit of a wall at the moment, so if anyone knows any really good stuff, please dont hesitate to tell me so. staying round cobbs tonight. he wants to make a rap video for his youtube channel starring me :S im not entirely sure wether to be excited or sceptical, im thinking i should be leaning towards the sceptical side of things, knowing the other video's he has made. inbred hillbilly, hehehe good times. i was married to the inbred hillbilly at one point. what a wedding that was.
i am so over this whole education crap. seriously i am counting down the days till i dont have to get up for school anymore. and with uni im just going to do what derek does. he hasnt gone to a single lecture, he downloads them off the internet at home. and he's passing! what a legend that derek is. except the time he nearly killed me in his car. i was riding in the boot, and i thought he was purposefully shaking the car about just to cause me to smash into the sides of the boot. then i got out of the car, and jesse was like, yea derek nearly crashed about 5 times back there, you would have died. and then jason came up and was like, yea he was pretty high as well, your kinda lucky he managed to avoid crashing. and i was just standing there like, derek you basterd, i am going to kill you.
then i pulled out my gun and shot him in the face!!!!! nah, not really. im kinda short on firearms at the moment. i must make a purchase of one sometime incase derek decides to drive while high again. then theres hamish who drag raced with an undercover cop car. he's supposed to be in court in 7 weeks. he wont be getting his licence back for a looooooooong time now.
oh and rayne: how have i changed??? you said to cornflake that i have changed since u got back from scotland. i dont think i'v changed, have i??? how have i changed??? and more importantly, why did you not just come and say it to my face instead of texting my friends??? im not mad, im just confused. grrr, why do i still try to understand girls???
oh and for those who dont know, i have created a new blog! its pretty much entirely about music and songs. just sometimes get the urge to go on tangeants about music, and i thought this would be the best way to go about it. well if you wanna check it out, dont hesitate to. oh and leave plenty of comments please, i like to hear other peoples oppinions and responses :) well, i must get ready for cobb's now, so i shall hopefully post again within the week. till the next time, your friendly neighbourhood thing that should not be.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
rofl.
I have scarred you all....The Ice whore named jethro was getting his glaass violently pounded by 2 black cockrals, while the skinny deviant looking caucasian man takes his head and forces his cockatoo down his throat.
There birds were so friggen violent that jethro's tits were spinning round and round and round. The heart shaped tattoo on his breast no longer visible from the constant movement.
And then when the cockrals bite? That smile on the jethro's face as the boys pull out and release candy into his open mouth... is it that he is enjoying the candy? or is it that he's glad the cockral banging on his glasses has stopped, and that he can go back home to his tumor he struggles to feed, and the drug habit he struggles to defeat.
If a sensitive soul such as Bilby, in his "bleeped out world", were to be exposed to this video, he'd be scared as fuck, LIKE ANYONE ELSE IN THIS WORLD WOULD BE.
Infact, it will probably drive him so insane that his mind will snap and he will carry the facial expression and language as the picture above.
One day you'll see the world for what it isnt is Bilby, and when you do, your heart will bloom like a flower and the bee's will come to pollinate you.
GOOD BOY!!!!!
Now honestly, this isn't being funny but it's a fuckload more crazy than it previously was.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Perfect World
(This guy didn't get to go to Comic-con)
Do you believe in good news in preference to bad? Do you think the war will be over by spring-time? Have you got faith in our generals? If the answers to any of these questions is yes, then you are sufferin' from that dread disease, Optimism, and should take seven days' leave immediately.
Wish you'd take ten.
No I'm not making a political statement about war, I'm quoting a play. "Oh What a Lovely War" (satire) is a fascinating musical about World War 1 that my school is making a performance of. It's even been advertised in the local paper and my role was mentioned briefly! They mentioned multi-media and that's my job. Sure I stuff up every now and then and end up making gunshots and explosion noises halfway through people's dialogue but other than that I'm good at it.
Damn right no one can click a mouse button like me! I am the button clicking master.
My eyes hurt from looking at the computer screen for a few hours... the really terrible thing is today I'm going to have to sit in the dark trying to read a small script for four hours so I know the cues. That's going to cause a massive headache! Yay! It would be nice if we had a perfect world without eye pain or head pain.
Speaking of the world. It's ending soon. 2012 coming soon! Along with The Book of Eli (which ISN'T the Fallout 3 movie people!) 9 and The Road which goes nicely with previous end of the world movies like The Day After Tomorrow, the Resident Evil series, 28 Days/Weeks Later and Knowing (although unfortunately, I don't think anyone can really claim a better movie moment than Twister and it's flying cow). We've got so many end of the world movies recently. Perhaps it'll overtake fantasy and magic as the new popular trend. Watch out Harry Potter, LOTR and Twilight! The world is ending! (Live forever now Edward! Live forever now!) During the 40's we had war films, 50's we had sci-fi films, 60's we had... lots of pretty colours and groovy busses and then there were some... trends in the 70's and 80's but I don't know what they were but I'm sure they existed. Now, the new century brings the end of the world showing you just how optimistic we all are about global warming/nuclear war/terrorism/zombiepocalypse.
I personally believe in optimism. I believe we can survive the zombiepocalypse! Sure, the facebook quiz I took says I'll only last a year at the max but I am confident that if we all band together and work hard for a better future we can avoid being torn to pieces and being eaten by ravenous hordes of rotting animate corpses of old people and the homeless. I suggest that we try to eradicate them today, for a better world tomorrow.
Join me in weekly cullings of the aged and homeless. We can achieve anything... together.
P.S. Oh no! Zombie whores! Don't let them bit you or you'll get infected! *hits drums*
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