Showing posts with label cthulhu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cthulhu. Show all posts

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Daylight Savings

The following is 20 reasons for and against daylight savings. I hope to inform you on what we have recently voted on in the hope of making those who voted realise whether their descision was the right or wrong one. The list is most definitely not biased at all.

"Reasons" to vote for Daylight Savings:

  1. If you don't, the curtains will fade.
  2. You will have more time to worship the Sun God Ra.
  3. Your day will magically have an extra hour in it that came from nowhere.
  4. The government will give you gold.
  5. Without the confusion of changing your clock then business will more dificult between states.
  6. America invented it.
  7. It's time for a nationwide change. We need to progress! Daylight savings means progress just like work choices was progress from unfair dismissal laws and the atom bomb was progress from diplomacy.
  8. We desperately need to find thirty. So to make up for people being lazy we're going to be finding 60 instead when everyone turns their clocks back at the end of summer.
  9. The confusion of changing the clocks will seperate the weak from the strong thus those who survive Daylight Savings shall band together to make a super-race of beings.
  10. If you don't then the terrorists win.
  11. If you don't I'll kill a panda.
  12. You can never have enough daylight.
  13. Because drugs are bad children.
  14. It makes you live longer.
  15. Your mother didn't mind me adjusting her clocks last night! Ohhh.
  16. We love you and just want you to do what's right... why do you reject the love and kindness of Daylight Savings? Hail Daylight Savings hail!
  17. Not voting for it will give you bird flu.
  18. Even a monkey can change a clock. Therefore we must also do it too.
  19. Your disobediance angers Cthulhu!
  20. Because I'll be your best friend.

"Reasons" to vote against Daylight Savings:

  1. Cows like to be milked at a certain time. If you switch to daylight savings the farmers will be unable to compensate for an hours difference and milks the cows at the wrong time.
  2. If you do the curtains will fade. (Wait, what?)
  3. The cows will fade.
  4. I'll also give you gold.
  5. We're not idiots.
  6. It's too much effort to change the clocks.
  7. America invented it.
  8. We have survived this long without it.
  9. The sharks shall be angry. Dun nun..... dun nun...... dun nun... dun nun dun nun dun nun dadadagghh!!!
  10. It's confusing to begin with.
  11. The world has a billion important problems to look after. Changing the clocks isn't one of them.
  12. It's unfair on the autistic population who are adamant against change. Therefore Daylight Savings is anti-disabled people and is the thing of NAZIS! NAZIS DAMMIT!
  13. Daylight Savings makes baby jesus cry.
  14. Everytime you masturbate while looking at a clock that's been adjusted to Daylight Savings God kills a kitten.
  15. We've got enough daylight in our reserves. We don't need to save anymore even given of the recession.
  16. Scientologists are pro-Daylight Savings.
  17. Because I know where you live that's why.
  18. Because I just adjusted my clock and I jizzed in my pants.
  19. Computer says No.
  20. Daylight Savings will give you swine flu.

There. I hope you have given great thought into the serious and important reasons one must think about before taking a side on pro or against. Next in my series of informative blogs: 20 Reasons why abortion is good.... or bad?