R.I.P Axolotl

Fellow school students, colleagues and peers. We are gathered here today for the mourning of the dear old Axolotl of room S4 in the science block of DSHS who has recently passed away...

...or has it? Those who have had the fun of being in S4 and looked at the far corner of the room would've noticed a tank of water that stored a strange looking creature with legs, tail and gills sticking out of it's neck. It also looked dead. As we would sit on the side of the class when we had misbehaved, or gone to do experiments with bunsen burners where we would then misbehave and set stuff on fire (today I melted zinc and copper strips! I wasn't meant to!) we could see this strange fish lizard thing floating in the water looking out into the classroom with cold dead like eyes. "Jesus" called it the "stoner fish" because it looked stoned. I said it's big grin and weird eyes reminded me of Shoop-da-woop and imagined it FIRING-ITS-LAZAARRR!!!! (Yes, I'm just that lame.) People would come up and go "it looks dead. Are you sure it's not dead?" and me being the freaky-fish-guy expert wannabe I would go "No it just looks like it is. It moves occasionally trust me." It just didn't respond to stimulus so if you tapped on the glass or got in it's way then nothing would happen. Everytime it decided to move it was fascinating to watch such a rare sight! Because it was a really flipping LAZY FISH! "Look! It's ACTUALLY moving!" I am strangely the only one who seemed so excited when it decided to move slightly before stopping again and just floating there with it's strange spaced out look.

I wish I had the same drugs that Axolotl had man because Chemistry lessons can be really boring.

Axolotl's have very low metabolism rates. They don't move much. Thus I theorise that it was in fact NOT dead when removed from it's tank! It has previously floated on it's side/upside before so it doesn't care which was it's round and therefore the teachers didn't know it was dead!

The teachers killed Axolotl! Then they replaced it with fish! REAL fish! Two big greyish ones and a really cool one with really bright shiny scales that are so cool! :D It's a shiny fish! Ehehehe! Fishy is shiny! No! No, we're meant to be discussing the very very serious death of the beloved Axolotl.

We didn't think you actually had a name. Stoner will probably do. I don't think you have a tombstone I don't think the teachers really cared about you. How sad is that? You were a strange amphibious thing we looked at with fascination through a piece of glass. Wow. You're life was boring and now it's over. Wait no, that was a terrible eulogy. I suck at giving these to amphibians. Maybe that's why I don't have any friends........ of the amphibious kind.

Axolotls are cool. I want one now as a pet. I promise not to kill it and throw it away when it decides to go for a nap. I'll also be happy to fuel their strange drug habits and give it brownie-bloodworms whenever it's got the munchies.

R.I.P. Stoner fish!

P.S. Oh yeah btw... this is the 69th post! (Excluding the drafts. Seriously someone clean those up!) So HA! Suck on that! (Yeah otherwise it's not really a 69 is it?) I know I'm immature and I know you are too :P

Post Edit! (The last one didn't work so I'm retelling you!) OK well turns out my suspicions weren't true and the Axolotl truly is indeed dead :( It got a fungus infection and kinda got mouldy so therefore it was proven that it was dead. It's not preserved in a jar in the fume hood in S4. So you know it hasn't actually left the room it's still there it's just on the other side of the classroom hiding next to some bottles of deadly chemicals. It'll probably be examined by bio-students in the future one day. Stoner fish shall continue to be! (I'm waiting for 3 days before I give up all hope though. It might happen!)